Sex and texting: should you spy on your kids?

December 15, 11:02 AMGadgets ExaminerDan Appleman

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A cel phone can contain more personal
information than a diary

Last week the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy released the results of their survey: “Sex and Tech: What’s Really Going On”. In a sense the results were not surprising – teens think and talk about sex (just like adults), and since they are demographically the largest users of text messages, it’s not surprising that they many of those text messages are either about sexual topics are are suggestive in nature.

What is somewhat surprising is the percentage of teens who are not just texting suggestive messages – they are sending nude or semi-nude photos via phone as well. In "Teens and ‘Tech Sex’ – those nude photos find their way to the Internet", Kevin Rook addresses the security implications of this with regards to the possibility, if not likelihood that those photos will find their way onto the Internet, and will thus never disappear completely. But there are other issues that pose a real dilemma to parents in particular.

Should you spy on your teen’s cell phone?

Most teens are smart enough to be careful on computers. Parents know about and sometimes use monitoring software. The teens in turn know how to disable this software and hide traces of their activities. But the real day to day communication isn’t happening on computers – it’s happening in text messages.

Yet nobody thinks much about text messages. There are monitoring tools available for some smartphones, but they are not commonly used. In most cases they aren’t even necessary – as many teens never bother to delete their text messages. That naked, or semi-naked photo that your teen received (or sent)  is likely as not sitting their in their in-box our out-box, along with the suggestive messages, the plans to hook up, and invitations from friends to get high.

There is no agreement on whether spying on your teen’s cell phone is a good idea or not. And believe me, I am not suggesting you do so – trust is important between parents and children, especially during the teen years. But it is important for you to know that you can do so, and if you are concerned enough about your teen to be searching their room or backpack, you may find their cell phone to be the place where you find the answers to your questions and concerns.