The 'Divorce Box'

November 6, 3:45 PMScottsdale Relationships ExaminerRobin Cain

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When I was a little girl there was something called a Hope Chest (no, it did not refer to wishes a pre-pubescent girl may have had for her body!). I don’t know exactly what it was or what one did with it, but it was all the rage for young women about to get married. I think one or both of my sisters had one.

It was a storage device – an actual piece of furniture – shaped like a chest, which one would fill with items related to being married or in the hopes of getting married. Wishes? New dishes? Lingerie? Not quite sure what was to go in it because, as I said, I was a little girl and didn’t know of such things yet. I can only assume that the ‘bride to be’ filled it with all the new bright and shiny accoutrements needed for the wonderful life that lay ahead. I think the Lane Company came up with the idea, but I could be wrong.

Jump to 40 years later: There is now something commonly referred to as the Divorce Box. Not mass-marketed or mass-produced, the Divorce Box, as far as I know, is a self-made storage device that,  similar to the Hope Chest, contains all those things necessary to help ensure the same 'wonderful life ahead’. Much like what the Hope Chest was marketed to be, the Divorce Box is de rigueur for anyone “suspecting, contemplating or simply wanting to be prepared for” the possibility of divorce.

As large or small as needed, the Divorce Box is today’s version of a Trojan for a woman – ‘protection just in case’. Filled with copies of financial records, call lists, account statements, insurance policies, investment records, spending money and any other “emergency” items, the Divorce Box is a photocopy of a couple’s financial history in a nutshell.

Unlike the Hope Chest in the 50’s and 60’s that was based on fairy tales and promises, the Divorce Box of this century is a product of self-preservation; a creation based on historical horror stories passed down from woman to woman.

The financially clueless women of yesterday have suffered long and hard to assist the savvy, business-smart women of today. Learn from their mistakes, take their forgotten and over-looked preventative measures, get yourself a ‘box’ (or a cabinet or a shelf or a bag) and fill it (or be prepared to fill it) with the following:

• Know where all financial documents are and how to get your hands on them
• Have a list of account numbers and all banking institutions
• Have access to a sum of money in case of emergency
• Keep copies of all licenses, passports and birth certificates
• Make sure you have your own established credit card and bank account
   

And, in all fairness to the male gender, all of the above info apply to them, as well. There are a great many men who rely on their partners to ‘handle’ the finances. They would be well-advised to not get caught unprepared either.
 

Some readers will gasp in indignation, appalled at the pessimism involved in discussing the creation of such a “Box”. Yes, it is a terrible thing and certainly a far cry from the golden good ‘ole days, but nevertheless, it’s a tool to ward off the evil that exists in, or is created by, some break-ups. If it makes you feel any better? Just go ahead and call it a “Hope Not Chest”.
 

Suggested Reading:

Women Empowering Themselves: A Financial Survival Guide - For Women at Risk of Drowning Financially Before, During and After Divorce