I planted a garden this year for the very first time. Not having done this before, I leaned on my experienced friends and neighbors for help and information. The process I have gone through has been rigorous to say the least, and lengthy. First I had to weed my garden beds. Then I applied a product called Preen, which helps keep new weeds from growing. I then was required to wait a period of time before I could do anything at all. When it was time, I tilled my little plot, adding in some horse manure a friend donated. Once my ground was ready, I planted seeds. Then came the fertilizer, the incessant weeding, and the long waiting. After some time the little plants began to grow. They are still growing and I am still waiting to see what bounty I will receive from all my hard work.
This whole process has been a learning experience for me. I cannot help but see how this parallels lifes spiritual/emotional journey. Life is a never ending process of growth and discovery. Anyone who has begun any kind of spiritual path knows that in order to proceed you must first face yourself honestly and take a truthful inventory of your "weeds."
This can be a daunting task. Most of us don’t enjoy staring at our personal flaws and shortcomings. But unless we deal with them head on, they will choke out any good things we try to plant into our lives. Weeds can choke out young plants. They can stunt their growth and steal important nutritients from the young plants. Qualities such as selfishness, pride, anger, stubornness, apathy, negativity, unbelief, fear, self sabotage, can also choke out our faith, our love, our positive forward motion. We must be courageous enough to face these things in ourselves and be willing to weed them out of our lives.
Perhaps the most frustrating part of all of this is the time it all takes. After going through so much time and effort to prepare my garden, I now have a terrible waiting game for the plants to grow and produce their bounty. Some plants take 80 days to do this. And no matter how much I want that produce, I cannot make it happen any faster than nature intended. If I want to partake of my bountiful harvest, I must wait patiently. I still need to weed on a weekly basis. I need to water every day. I need to fertilize and mulch. And after all this time and wait and work, then and only then will I be free to enjoy the harvest.
In my spiritual process it is the same. I get to recognize that what I am working on takes time. I can only grow and change so quickly. Some changes happen faster than others. I cannot rush my emotional process. I want to have it all figured out right now, instead of allowing myself the freedom to discover life’s truth as the Universe intended. Only when I acknowledge that I don’t have it all figured out right now, and that I won’t get it all figured out right now, do I finally have peace and joy in my process.
Trying to rush through the work that the Universe brings us to do only brings frustration and defeat. I am learning to respect this process. I can see the beauty along the way as I discover things in the right order and at my own pace.
The Universe gives us what we need to build a lush garden of abundant fruit for our lives. This fruit can be joy, peace, faith, love, fulfillment, gratitude, patience, stability, proper boundaries, belief, productivity. So as I watch my beautiful tomato plants flower, grow tiny green lumps, grow small red balls and then finally produce ripe, fragrant, heavy tomatoes; I remind myself that I am like that tomato plant. I will allow myself to grow and mature at the pace set by nature. And in the end, I partake in the joy of understanding and wholeness.