
With a record of 33-52 and a demeanor that seems better suited for the Indians of “Major League” fame before they hit their stride, this year’s tribe is certainly nothing to write home about. And just when you think things have hit rock bottom and the time to rebuild has begun, Murphy’s Law laughs in your face.
In fact, this is a team that is making the Kansas City Royals, a team that hasn’t made the playoffs since Ronald Reagan graced the Oval Office, look like a decent squad. The team batting average is a dismal .260 and the team ERA is a bloated 5.34, good enough for 30th in the league (that’s last place so you don’t have to count teams).
But it’s not just the losing -- it’s the way this team finds new and exciting ways to lose, like they were trying to be cast as the underdog in a bad sports movie, sans the ability (or the tough yet lovable ringer).
They gain huge leads only to squander them in eighth innings that must make Herb Score shed tears from beyond the grave. They win two series in a row then follow that up with six straight losses. The ability of this team to dish out hope and then snatch it away in an inning is enough to make any Cleveland fan look for a bat, either to try out for the team or just to deliver a blow to the head strong enough to knock them out until football season.
So what’s the solution? What’s the end-all opiate for a team that can’t pitch half the time and can’t hit the other half and has more injuries than the streets of LA after a Lakers title win? For this season, it may only be prayers -- or coaxing LeBron James to pull a Michael Jordan and try his hand at the diamond. Or, maybe a new manager, whichever comes first.