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How to handle Thanksgiving if you don't get along with your relatives
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Many people do not get along with their relatives. Some have chosen to separate themselves and do not spend time with their family. You may be fine with your family, but your spouse's family may be difficult for you. Perhaps there is one particular family member who acts out, gets drunk, or simply makes for a miserable time.
How do you handle Thanksgiving in these situations? First change your thinking. People often falsely believe they should like, and get along with their family. Remember, you had no choice in choosing your relatives. Liking your family is not required. If you accept the fact that you may not like your family, that you would not spend time with them, if not for family ties, than you are off to a good start readjusting your thinking. Understand this is the time to follow tradition and get together. Having fun, and enjoying everyones company is not required to fulfill the tradition.
If you are estranged from your family, make you own celebration. Invite friends over, or decide with your spouse how to celebrate. If your family or the holidays are truly more than you can handle, plan a trip away. Create your own Thanksgiving tradition.
If you are alone on Thanksgiving, try volunteering. There are many opportunities to help others who are in need this time of the year.
Read the articles at examiner.com about happiness to get more ideas about how to change your mood and find gratitude.
Finally, try to keep your sense of humor. Humor helps you to detach and take a step back. This is helpful when you spend time with family. They are the people that trigger you the fastest. You can find yourself falling into old childhood roles and old feelings a scale of 1 to 10 (1 the best, 10 the worst), how bad is the behavior you are witnessing? Talk about the event later with a friend or spouse who understands.
THE GOOD NEWS IS: Thanksgiving is a time to find a way to focus on what is present in your life and to be grateful for what you have. Happy Thanksgiving!
I welcome feedback and questions. Contact me.
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***© 2009 all rights reserved Debra Joy Goldman The above articles may not be rewritten, copied, published, broadcast, or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Debra Joy Goldman
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