One reader's dilemma: The vibrator died before she finished

November 5, 2:11 AMSan Antonio Sex and Relationships ExaminerMichele Gwynn

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Dear Michele,

I’m having a bit of problem. It’s kinda weird, but it’s still a problem that I bet you might have an answer to. My batteries died in my vibrator right in the middle of a good solitary sex session. It’s the middle of the night and I don’t want to have to go out to some convenience store and lose my groove. Heck, I already lost since I got ticked off and stumbled in here to the computer and ran across your column. I know I’ll have to manually stimulate my orgasm tonight, but what can a girl do when this happens and there are no spare batteries in the house?

Signed, Buzz-Kill

Dearest Buzz-Kill,

I feel for you. Been there, done that! Nothing sucks worse than having a perfectly good impending orgasm derailed by dead batteries. I mean, men often finish before we do just when things are getting good so that’s why we ladies have these little second-stringers anyway. And if that fails, too, life just isn’t worth living anymore! Well, maybe it’s not quite that dramatic, but..wait…Yes, it is! By God, women have been robbed of good orgasms over the centuries and we shall not stand for it one moment longer!

Here are my foolproof recommendations for never having your sex-play rudely interrupted ever again. Write this down, Buzz. This is gold, baby!

1. Always keep back-up batteries. If you find you’ve used up your spares, check all the remotes, clocks, clock-radios, and CD players in the house. You’re sure to be able to borrow from the TV remote for awhile, right?

2. Get a vibrator with a wall plug AND back up batteries. It will take a California Brown Out to rob you of your climax with one of those! Even then, the back up batteries will be waiting in the wings.

3. Buy a cheap generator! In the event of power outages, war, or an ice-age, you’ll be the only person on your block still getting off!

4. If all else fails, own a Harley! Straddling one naked while revving the engine ought to send you straight to the moon, Alice! Straight to the moon! (Just make sure you have gas in the tank)

I also recommend purchasing a couple extra vibes in case you get too rowdy and give your old-faithful a heart attack. Besides, extra vibes mean double, possibly triple the pleasure! Check out Adam & Eve online for some great deals on some rockin’ sexy toys.   And visit PlayGirl on Facebook to subscribe to the magazine that offers yummy visuals, fun articles, and ads for every gal's pleasure!
 

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All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted in part or whole without written permission by the author.  For permission, email megwynn@msn.com.