How to meet someone by relaxing standards, losing the list

November 11, 12:25 AMSan Antonio Sex and Relationships ExaminerMichele Gwynn

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Heigl & Butler    PicApp

Some movies may not be Oscar worthy, but they can teach a valuable lesson; if you're looking for it.  The romantic comedy, The Ugly Truth, starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler is one such movie.  It's a predictable kind of funny, one we're all familiar and comfortable with, but it's the message within the dialogue perpetually single people should pay attention to.  Relax your standards, and lose the list of required attributes! 

That's not to say go out with the next degenerate scrub that skips your way, but give that nice, not so perfect guy or girl a chance.  You might be surprised at what you find beneath the surface.  After all, a diamond starts out as a lump of coal; a lump that just needs a little polishing! 

As a society, women are subliminally taught to want that perfect man; the one who is handsome, successful, and princely in bearing.  He doesn't exist!  Men are subliminally fed air-brushed sexbots as the ideal woman.  She doesn't exist, either!  What does exist out there are real men and real women who burp, fart, scratch, snore, have cellulite and acne, and wake up looking like a truck ran them over before they clean up, buck up, and make themselves presentable to the world.  These "flaws" don't make men and women defective, or even undesireable if anyone bothers to look beneath the surface to the heart and mind of the individual. 

These "real" men and women have feelings, they care.  They get up everyday, go to work, make small talk, and secretly think about the same things that you do.  "Will I ever meet anyone special?"  "Does he like me?"  "Does she even know I exist?"

All these questions and more show a shared bond between all people.  We all want to be loved.  So quit trying to read the book by it's cover.  Throw away the potential-mate shopping list.  Instead of checking off list items, look someone in the eye and say hello.  That guy that everyone says is so nice, but doesn't have a girlfriend because he isn't aggressive; give him a chance!  That woman who cracks you up and is cool to hang out with, but doesn't look like a Victoria's Secret model; give her a chance! 

The funny thing about attraction is that it's multifaceted and interconnected.  You might find yourself physically attracted to someone which leads to learning to like them, but this can also work in the reverse.  Start by liking the person, then watch how easily like can turn into attraction, and attraction can turn into love.  Don't scoff!  Want to prove the theory wrong?  Go out and try first. If you end up falling in love, I promise not to rub it in....maybe. 

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It's okay to do it!  No shame in self love

All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted in part or whole without written permission by the author.  For permission, email megwynn@msn.com.