Why Women Initiate Divorce
A woman from Tarzana recently decided to divorce her husband of six years after a particularly bitter fight. Although he was not known to be abusive and he had not been unfaithful, she felt that she could no longer stay with him. She said that she felt like she had lost track of who she was during the course of her relationship and desperately needed to find herself before she could be with anyone else.
The scenario above probably represents most men’s worst fear when it comes to deciding to marry a woman. The sad fact is that women statistically are usually responsible for initiating marriage and initiating divorce. Men enter both fields reluctantly, as well they should—far more of their emotional well being is at stake if things should end badly. This is particularly true if they aren’t the ones to end it.
Many men enter marriage assuming that if they are faithful and friendly their wife will never have any reason to leave them. But women will often want to break up for reasons that make no sense to men—because emotional needs aren’t being met, for example. The wife will disappear with what appears as little warning.
But most of these horror stories aren’t as simple as they appear to outsiders—usually, they are a result of a couple keeping up outside appearances even though the relationship is falling apart on the inside. Many of these couples haven’t talked intimately for years and they may not have had sex for months. Sometimes they never really did talk, but instead rode on emotions to power them through the early stages of courtship.
The woman from Tarzana said that her husband’s jealousy and insecurity early in the relationship had forced her to be something she was not from that point forward. In her desire to please him she sacrificed herself, compromising the relationship potential early on. Centuries ago in history, many women may have gladly accepted such less than ideal pairings as a means to an end. With so many options in this day and age, however, women are more likely to cite emotional needs as a reason for breaking up.
There is no ready answer for a man hoping to avoid breakup, except that he should maintain open communication at all times and love and know himself first. Once these things are in order, the horror stories about women leaving out of the blue can fade rapidly into perspective. It is never easy to figure out the affairs of others, and like an onion they usually become more complex when reviewed. It’s hard enough to keep track of your own business!