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Find out more about Tom: Tom Mackinnon is a loan officer and mortgage planner. This is his second career; he earlier spent more than 20 years in Information Technology management. He's helped hundreds with their mortgage needs - many more than once - and works out of Irving, Texas. |
Washington, D.C. - In an unprecedented move, the out-going Bush Administration and the in-coming Obama Administration today announced a unique initiative guaranteed to solve all the economic woes plaguing the country.
In a joint press conference, President-elect Obama outlined the plan, "I know that these are the toughest economic times I have ever seen." President Bush echoed these sentiments, "I agree with Senator Obama that these are certainly the toughest times he has ever seen."
Details of the plan were made available to the media in a 53,214 page policy paper, which the President elect insists will be implemented on his first day in office; January 20 of next year, "or sooner, if we can get this lame duck Congress to do anything." The plan includes:
More details will be available as soon as those in the media who can read complete the perusal of the new policy tome.
President-elect Obama summed up his approach to solving the economic malaise, "We are basically going to take all the money there is and give it to these terribly needy corporations, banks and other financial institutions because they need it, they asked really, really nicely, and because it is the best way we can find to spread the wealth. Not only will we take all the money there is now, but all the money there will ever be." Several reporters in attendance swooned at his statement, and others reported feeling weak in the knees.
President Bush, who has been responsible for everything bad that has happened in the world in the last eight years, when asked his feelings about Obama’s plan, stated, "Frankly, I am going back to Texas and let y’all figure this one out."
In a related story, the US Mints around the country all reported overheating problems with their printing presses. Said one press operator, "We been runnin’ these things ‘round the clock lately, and they tend to heat up, especially when we print so many of these here hundred dollar bills."