Talk to your kids about sex

November 9, 11:17 AMKansas City Motherhood ExaminerTeri Brooks

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Ignore their expressions.
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Most parents avoid it like the plague. Similarly, the very idea makes a young person cringe in spine-tingling horror.

Discussing sex with your children may be like swallowing a bristly hairbrush with a sore throat, but it’s necessary all the same. Somehow, somewhere your child is receiving messages about sex and the role it should play in their lives. Some true, some faulty. Take the initiative to empower your kids with accurate information rooted in your family values system.


Overcome the excuses. Your kids need to hear your views and expectations explicitly and often.


Mom Excuse #1: “They’re too young.”

Nowadays, children receive sexual messages as early as preschool. If your child is old enough to articulate a thought, convey an idea, or watch a music video - they are old enough to be introduced to your family’s value system. Communicate in age-appropriate terms that don’t frighten or misinform them.


Mom Excuse #2: “I don’t know what to say.”

Anxiety about this delicate subject is understandable. So, go easy on yourself. Explain to your child that you’re just as nervous as they are discussing this “touchy” subject. Try beginning the conversation with a nerve-soothing opener like: “I care too much about you to not talk about this” and go from there.


Mom Excuse #3: “I made terrible sexual choices myself.”

It is extraordinarily difficult to give advice about responsible sexual behavior when you’ve made your fair share of mistakes. But don’t despair. Look at this way: some of your blunders position you perfectly as a resource to help. Share what you’ve learned and why you wish you had chosen another path.


Finally, your kids need to know what you expect from them and why. The earlier the better, but it’s never too late. Despite that deceptive façade of confidence, young people are scared and insecure about this subject. Your experience can help. Don’t waste your clout, Mom! Speak up!


For more information and resources, visit 4parents.gov.


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