"Closing" open relationships for (re) construction

October 5, 10:09 AMAustin Open Relationships ExaminerSadie Smythe

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Austin Open Relationships Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

Open relationships, just like any relationships, have their ups and downs. There are times where things are exceptionally good, there are periods where all is routine and ritual and there are spells in which rockiness is not necessarily relegated to the shores of the Pacific. In short, sometimes things are good between you and your partner, but sometimes things just plain suck.

Recently, my husband and I decided to "close" our marriage for a few weeks. For us, this meant cutting off all contact with our other partners so that we could spend some real, quality, uninterrupted time to focus on us and the issues that we are currently facing. All couples have situations and circumstances that may have occurred where there wasn't enough (or in some cases, any) time or effort put in to reconcile their effects. And sometimes there are even more deep-seated issues or long-ago hurts that have either never been addressed or not investigated fully enough. This is when a time-out can be helpful.

Taking time where you, as a couple, can focus on each other, is a great way to reconnect and reacquaint. When the other partners are out of the picture, however temporarily, it can send a message to your spouse or partner that you have a sincere willingness to put them first. Or at least a willingness to take the time to work on your problems.

All open relationships are different. For my husband and I, our other partners are secondary, making our marriage primary. This means that, above all, our relationship is paramount. And when the two of us are feeling secure in our relationship with each other, and in our connection, it enables our open marriage to function much more seamlessly. Because when we are working together, everything else falls into place.

So, "closing" up for a bit could be an option if you find yourselves navigating an open relationship but your primary relationship seems to be weighted down with the issues that many couples face eventually - money problems, child-rearing, mundane daily living; or perhaps individual issues like low self-esteem, crises of confidence or unhealthy behaviors or dependencies.

Taking a break and focusing on these things can and will, only make you stronger --perhaps as a couple, but at the very least individually-- in the long run.