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How do I make sure he sees me as a date and not an old friend?
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An old college friend and I have started dating. How do I make sure he sees me as a date and not an old friend?
To ensure your old friend sees you as a date and not as an “old friend” act like and treat him like a hot date.
This means to frequent places where your best dating behavior is called for. Let him open doors for you and pull chairs out for you. [Feminists, calm down, it’s OK. Personal power, authority, autonomy and human dignity are not directly related to door knobs, hinges or chair backs. Honest.] A nice example of how to do this comes in a scene from the movie Chain Reaction (Andrew Davis, 1996) with Keanu Reeves and Rachel Weisz.
They are escaping to a safe location in Wisconsin. When they arrive at their destination in a taxi, having taken the train from Chicago, Keanu Reeves’s character, Eddie, goes around the cab and opens Lilly’s (Rachel Weisz’s) door for her. Lilly executes her end of this transaction as perfectly as Eddie executes his end.
The second thing this means is to gradually step up your flirting behaviors. An important flirting behavior that is actually instinctual but has now become a “to do” is mirroring (copying) his gestures. A really good example of this is in a scene from the Fred Astaire Ginger Rogers movie Follow the Fleet (Mark Sandrich, 1936). Fred (Bake) and Ginger (Sherry) have not seen each other for several years, but now he has sought her out.
They are sitting at a dance club table talking about why they hadn’t communicated for those years. Ginger picks up a matchstick and begins playing with it. Fred picks up a matchstick and begins playing with it. This is mirroring. You mirror the actions of people you like and feel deeply connected to.
Personally, I used to dismiss this behavior when I did it with a, “Oh. Me and my “monkey see monkey do” tendencies!” But don’t dismiss it. It may feel to some like “monkey see monkey do,” but it is actually a sign of and a method for deep bonding.
For more info: For more information on this important topic, watch some movies!
Chain Reaction
Follow the Fleet
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