Elementary school: Helping children succeed

October 4, 3:45 PMDC Family ExaminerRisa Sanders

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Beginning kindergarten, and elementary school, is a wondrous time for most children. You may think it's mostly drawing, recess and field trips, but it's a time when significant patterns of behavior, and expectations, are established. It's also a time when learning issues need to be identified and addressed, before chronic dissatisfaction settles in. Also, from a social standpoint,  it's not that happy for a significant number of children.

Understanding the specific developmental tasks and challenges children need to master during this time period is useful.

Some of these are:

1. Physical Development- Their muscles, bones and bodies are developing. Children need to practice, and master, gross (large muscle) and fine motor (handwriting, cutting, manipulating small objects) skills.

Here's what you can do: 

1.  Not every child has to be an athlete.This is a great time for trying out different sports, especially team sports, which build a sense of spirit and cooperation. However, not all children groove on that. It doesn't have to be lacrosse, soccer or basketball. So, keep experimenting to find what your child enjoys. It might be martial arts, track, or tennis.The goal is to develop fitness habits that last a lifetime, as well as improve muscle coordination, balance, manual dexterity, and comfort with their body. It helps if kids see their parents involved in some form of physical activity as well, so this is a good time to take an inventory of your own habits!  Make time to practice throwing and catching to develop hand-eye coordination, and kicking the ball to develop large motor coordination.
2. Have art supplies handy at home so your child can practice cutting, gluing and drawing. Children's play is their work. Value it!  
3. Also, make sure you teach your child to tie their own shoes, button or zip their parkas, etc; If your child has physical limitations, find assistive tools that help them feel more independent. These things build a sense of confidence and self-sufficiency in Kinders and first graders.

Cognitive Development- Thinking begins to transform from egocentric (me-driven) to more rational and logical. Kids are beginning to see things from other peoples' perspectives. In the early elementary years, kids are transitioning from focusing on only one small part of a situation, or even believing that objects have feelings, to being able to look at a problem from multiple perspectives. This takes time and conversation to help develop. Even middle-schoolers can be quite egocentric, so this one is a long-term project!

Here's what you can do:

1. Understanding and labeling feelings and emotions, talking them out and not judging them is a great way for parents to assist their children. On-going boundary setting is important for children to feel safe and secure, but with their emerging sense of their own identify. Children may test limits in ways they hadn't when they were adorable little pre-schoolers.
2. Helping children learn to tell time can assist greatly with timed tasks (i.e., tests!)  in the school environment.
3. Vocabulary development is key during this period. Enjoy the fact your child still wants to talk to you and keep the conversation going. If you love crossword puzzles, or word games, enlist your child. Watch Wheel of Fortune together, or find other entertaining ways to incorporate language development. Not all children love to read, but nearly all enjoy being read to! Keep up this wonderful nighttime ritual as long as you can. 
4. Contact your schools' speech therapy or occupational therapy services if your child has a speech impediment, or their handwriting is abysmal.
5. Chain of command and school resources: Help is out there, but sometimes you have to be fairly assertive to obtain it. In elementary school, in particular, you and your child's teachers are a team. Communicate with respect for their experience and efforts, but also don't be afraid to ask for, or provide, specific feedback, and to share information about your child's personality, learning style and temperament that will be beneficial. Volunteer in the classroom if you are able.  If you and/or your child have a personality conflict with a particular teacher, and you can't resolve it on your own, seek support from the Guidance Counselor and/or the Principal.  Principals are much easier to meet with, so schedule an appointment and ask for help if you feel other channels haven't been productive. Feedback from teachers is enormously valuable. If your child seems to be delayed in language development or has a speech issue, is behind in writing or math skills, get support. Discuss this with your child's teacher or guidance counselor, speak with the Reading or Math Resource Teachers (most elementary schools have them) if you feel your child needs extra tools.  The School Psychologist may be helpful if you think your child ought to be evaluated for a learning disability.504 Plans and IEPs are important and potentially powerful tools to assure your child is receiving the resources he/she needs. Contact the Special Education department if your child has a learning disability, and/or your child might need some assistive technology (a keyboard rather than handwriting, as an example).
6. Provide intellectual stimulation, but don't force-feed specific facts and skill drills. Think about your child's passions, interests or hobbies, and take advantage of the abundance of enrichment opportunities in our community.  Attend  performances of local theater, dance and music troupes. It's never too early to learn to be a polite audience member. Visit science, history, and technology exhibits, etc;
7. Discuss issues like bullying, and your zero tolerance for it. Maintain an open dialog about difficult issues such as smoking, substance abuse, anger management, and  dishonesty. The earlier you address these toxic issues, the better chance of reducing their frequency and harm.

I'll cover issues related to your child's social and emotional development during the elementary years

 in my next article, so please stay tuned......

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NOTE: None of the foregoing is intended as professional advice, and is for information purposes only. As always, please consult with the appropriate professional(s)  with any concerns regarding your particular situation.