Building self-esteem in foster children, pt.2

July 8, 12:12 AMSan Diego Foster Families ExaminerDavid Isley

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Dahveed reading and speaking with foster parents

In part 1 of Building self-esteem in foster children, we discussed:

• What is self-esteem?
• Why do we need self-esteem?
• How do we acquire self-esteem?

We will conclude first with discovering cultural identity and how it affects not only foster children, but children in general.

Cultural Identity

We need to help our children begin to answer the question: "Who am I?"  Cultural heritage is an integral part of self-identity. Learning about cultural values and the ability to convey them to the next generation is an adult responsibility common to all ethnic groups.

Preparation for adulthood is itself determined by ethnicity. Policies and programs aimed at helping adolescents in foster care to prepare for independence must first recognize cultural differences and their importance to these children. The valuing of culture must be expressed systematically. This approach is essential, given the high proportion of children of color in out-of-home care.

The ethnic differences of minority teenagers are frequently perceived as emotional disturbances; legitimate psychological difficulties are more likely to be met with restriction or even entrance into the criminal justice system rather than treatment; educational and career goals are often scaled down; cultural values and related goals are frequently misunderstood and maligned; and the critical need of every minority adolescent to discern and cope with the effect of racism is largely overlooked.  As a result, minority foster adolescents are often less prepared to lead productive lives than their Caucasian counter parts and remain at greater risk of dependence on government systems throughout their lives.

While all caregivers, regardless of heritage, need to be ethnically competent in their work with children, misunderstandings related to cultural differences are most likely to take place when the ethnic backgrounds of young people differ from those of the adults caring for them. Ethnic competence can help to overcome those differences.

Competence

To become functioning members in any culture/social group, children learn basic physical skills such as; feeding, bathing, toileting, and social skills. By finding little jobs they can do, we encourage our children’s ability and reward them with positive feedback. As children master a positive understanding of their racial and cultural identity, they will develop a sense of social competence.  With this competence, they will feel confident in who they are and how they can participate in different groups.

Children Talents

All of our children will display some form of talent that will help them to relate to their

surroundings. As parents, teachers, and social workers, we can lookout for these individual gifts and encourage them as they may be indications for guiding them through school and job options in the years to come. Most children and teenagers know their gifts and talents. Our job is to ask them what they'll do with those gifts and teach them to ask:

• What do I want for myself?

• What do I want for my family?

• What do I want for my people?

• What do I want for the world?

Parental self-esteem

When we help to build our children’s self-esteem, as parents, we find joy in their accomplishments.  The confidence in parents and social workers increase by knowing that they know what to do to nurture their children and get results.  Foster children need to be able to say:

• I have a right to be

• I have a right to exist

• I have a right to feel all my feelings

• I have a right to think my own thoughts