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Open adoption in Spokane: it's not what you think.
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Despite what you may hear, open adoption works well for parents and kids.
How many times have you heard the horror stories about open adoption? "The parents will only come back and take their child." "It's confusing to the child." "Your child will grow up and reject you, preferring their biological parents." "It's like co-parenting. You have to make decisions with the birth mom all the time." The fact is, open adoption is what you make it, and it's nothing to be afraid of.
First of all, the legal process surrounding adoption is sound and, once complete, irrevocable. With open adoption, one of the many benefits is working out the details of the adoption with the birth family. Adoptive parents and birth families get to know each other, deciding how much and what type of contact they would each feel comfortable with. Working with experienced social workers and a capable attorney can help everyone navigate successfully through the process. Sure, sometimes a mom may change her mind, and that can be disappointing. But, it's an important and permanent decision for everyone involved.
Confusion for the child is again, what you make of it. Open adoption is about being open, and that means from the very beginning, sharing your child's story with her. Children are comfortable with what they know, and are only confused if their parents are. Answering questions and being honest (with age appropriate information) is the key to helping your child understand her particular situation.
Some adoptive parents struggle with a growing child's need to know more about their family of origin. Fantasy is a very natural phase for many children, adopted or not, and by being open about adoption, you can help address unanswered questions. Kids may reject their parents, adopted or biological, but this again is a natural stage of development.
As an adoptive parent, you are your child's primary caregiver. You alone make the decisions for medical care, education and any other daily decision. Many families involved with open adoption find a healthy balance of interaction with their child's birth family, including get togethers on important occasions such as birthdays or Christmas. Again, working with a reputable agency will ensure everyone's needs are met in the arrangement.
Like anything in life, the unfamiliar can seem strange and confusing. Familiarity, networking and research can often provide you with valuable insight. Open adoption is a healthy alternative to the once closed world of vital information. Consider contacting one of the agencies listed below for more information.
For more information about open adoption, visit Spokane Consultants in Family Living at http://www.spokaneconsultants.com/
For information about the legal process, visit Mark Iverson at http://www.adoptionwa.com/
If you're considering adoption and want more information about topics such as these and more, visit Adoptive Families Magazine at http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
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