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Do not date co-workers. Period.
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Photo: PicApp.com/Corbis 2009
Do not date the people you work with. Do not date the people you work with. Do not date the people you work with!
I can't say it enough times- don't date your co-workers. Dating someone in your workplace is a horrible, dreadful, awful idea, and I can personally attest to this fact. Three times, actually (sometimes I'm a slow learner). We're swimming in an enormous ocean of prospect in the city of Orlando alone, so there is absolutely no reason to dip your line in the work pond (as my good friend Amanda once admonished me). Do. Not. Do it.
I've had a lot of experience in this area. I've worked in a restaurant for the past few years, and everyone knows that restaurants are breeding grounds for somewhat incestuous behavior. And no, not in that Jethro Tull type way, but in the "Oh, I've slept with him, and you have too, so technically we've slept together as well" type way. It's weird and uncomfortable and leads to insane amounts of syrupy gossip. Everyone is always in everyone else's business in the service industry, and there are basically no secrets no matter how you spin your stories. The truth will always leak out, and probably be talked about in the server station for the next two weeks.
Dating a co-worker will always turn out badly, regardless of whether you two end up staying together for the long run or not. Let's look at this logically. If you date a co-worker and things seem to be going swimmingly, it's bound to take a turn for the worse at some point. Say one of you gets a better schedule, or a bigger bonus, or a promotion. This can lead to jealousy and contention in the relationship, especially if it's a small workplace with low staff turnover. In the service industry, I've always found it intimidating to work with my significant other simply because I turn on the charm at my tables. I'm not going to lie- I'm not above flirting with my male customers to make a little additional money. An extra dollar here and there on the tips can go a long way at the end of the night. But how am I supposed to do this without feeling like a superficial ass when my manfriend is standing ten feet away, pulling pints? Not to mention, people flirt at work. Come on, you know you do it. It's harmless and funny and oftentimes completely stupid and pointless, but people do it nonetheless. You teasing the busboy about his ludicrous haircut could very easily annoy your significant other even if it's completely innocuous. There are endless possibilities for fights to arise, and in my opinion, there are enough of those in everyday life as it is. Plus, I'm pretty sure that some people like to take breaks from their partner. Being together constantly gets old, and missing someone makes you appreciate them even more. When you work together and possibly live together, things can go stale quickly.
And if the dreaded breakup should ensue, forget it. It's easier to quit and find a new job than it is to endure the atrocious awkwardness that will surely contaminate the workplace. I found it hard to ask for drinks from the bar, to get my shifts covered, even to ask the other person if they wouldn't mind getting some ice for the Coke machine. Try getting a raise from your boss when you cheated on him- see where I'm going with this? It can get appallingly messy, and there's absolutely no way around it unless you can somehow manage to schedule yourself opposite from your now ex. (And if you're a nine-to-fiver, consider it virtually impossible.) In one case, I was the dumpee, and going to work and seeing the person who decided to bestow his affections elsewhere was absolute torment. I would wander around fighting back crocodile tears, and that really didn't help with my tips. People don't want to be served their appetizer by someone who looks like they might be the next suicide statistic. On a more shallow note, this also wreaked havoc on my eye makeup and I was constantly popping in and out of the server station to make sure I didn't look like Alice Cooper. And amazingly enough, this was actually not as bad of a situation as it can be- if it's a nasty, name-calling breakup, ghastly situations can occur at work. Imagine screaming at your ex in the break room because they're not answering your emails quickly enough- but you're not really angry about that. You're livid that they were making eyes at the eighteen year old receptionist earlier, and you just needed an outlet to vent your fury. If it was a prolonged relationship, people will begin to take sides, effectively creating a situation remniscent of West Side Story without the bad hair. Outlandish rumors and accusations will fly, conflicts crop up everywhere from the parking lot to the head honcho's office, and this will have an injurious effect on productivity and attention to detail. Basically, one of you will suck at your job, and run the huge risk of getting canned. In this economy, it's just not worth it. I'd rather spend my nights at home penning fan fiction and drinking peppermint tea than be able to say I have a manfriend.
So once again, don't do it. It may seem like a match made in heaven- if you're crazy about someone, you want to be around them constantly. Working with them allows you steady access and attention. Plus, if you're too busy to go out and meet people, why not date the cute guy who works in accounting? It's like a piece of cake that you can't stop thinking about- it's right there, so why not? Because it'll be messy. Snarled, tangled, "I want to move to Guam and forget I ever had a successful career" messy. I don't care if you end up marrying the person or if you sleep together a few times and have a silly crush on them. It may not end badly, but it's bound to be an exceptionally bumpy road. And when there's a much smoother highway just outside the front doors, why take the risk on your car?
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