Choosing a guardian for your children

July 13, 3:34 PMBaltimore Single Moms ExaminerJenny Hoffman

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AP Photo/Gabriel Bouys, pool

Here's an important question single moms need to ask themselves: who would take care of my child or children if I died or became incapacitated? It's a gut-wrenching thought, but accidents, illnesses, and deaths happen every day, all around us. We're all mortal, after all.

Take the recent death of pop icon Michael Jackson, for example. He leaves three children behind whose mother gave up her maternal rights. His last will, filed seven years ago, designated his mother, Katherine Jackson, as the children's guardian. Yet the custody of the children is still up in the air. (In the photo, two of Michael Jackson's children, Paris, second left, and Prince Michael II, also known as Blanket, stand with their aunts, Janet Jackson, left, and LaToya Jackson, right, at the memorial service.)

So how do you ensure that your wishes with regards to your children's guardianship be followed in the event of your death or disablement?  

The first step is to choose a guardian for your children. This guardian should be someone you trust, someone who shares your values, and someone who is willing to take on the job of caring for your children. It could be your ex, your child's other biological parent, your sibling, or your parent. The guardian need not be a blood relative, but could be a trusted friend instead.

Choosing a guardian is not an easy task. After all, no one is better qualified to raise your child than you are. According to this article on BabyCenter.com, you can ask yourself the following questions to help you decide:

• Whose values, religious beliefs, and parenting style most closely match your own?
• Who is willing and able to take on the responsibility of raising your child?
• Is the person you're considering someone who your child feels comfortable with?

The second step is to designate the guardian in your will. In Maryland, you must be over the age of 18 and legally competent to make a valid will. Additionally, the will must be in writing, signed by yourself, and signed by two or more credible witnesses who watched you sign it. The document does not need to be notarized or filed with a court to be legally valid.

Something else to consider is naming a trustee or property guardian for your child, or who will manage the money your child inherits until he or she is old enough to manage it alone. The property guardian can be a different person from the guardian you choose to raise your child, or it can be the same.

After you sign your will, you should keep it in a safe place that is easily accessible. Be sure and tell someone you trust where you placed the will so they can find it if needed.

Thinking about these matters may make you uncomfortable, but you need to put your child's well-being ahead of your discomfort. Once you've written your will, you can put these thoughts aside and live your life knowing that you've done what you could to provide for your child after you're gone.