This week's episode of The Bachelorette had some shocking (NOT!) revelations

June 24, 11:29 AMSan Diego Television ExaminerMarnie Brodersen

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I'm a day late with my take on this week's episode of The Bachelorette, but there were so many gems exchanged, I couldn't pass up writing on this doozie of a show.  Jillian started off with a one-on-one with Bartender Robbie, who revealed himself to be a little light on the IQ side of life.  He woo'd her with statements like "I'm kinda between jobs right now" and "Love doesn't have a job."  Chills.  He went to seal the deal by telling her "I wish I had a bigger vocabulary so I could describe how I feel."  Here's a word, Dude:  douchebag.  After she asked him "downstairs for dessert," which I hoped wasn't a euphemism, they cuddled up on a bed that looked like something from the Austin Powers set.  After giving him an ingenious let-down ("I could marry you...in about five years."), Robbie got the coldest goodbye of all.  He was left on the side of the traintracks which, of course, made Breakdancer Michael shed some tears.  You can't make this shiz up, peeps.  It was perhaps the best moment of reality TV, as Robbie was forced to wave goodbye to the other guys as they kept rolling on down the tracks. 

In the least shocking moment in the show's history, Wes finally opened up about his hidden agenda and being there for publicity.  Ya don't say!  It's hard not to want to slap Jillian silly, as she feeds right into his greasy little hand, saying he makes her feel "safe" and "comfortable."  Stop...just stop it!  ABC's editing is spot on, as they follow that up with a scene in which Wes says he has Jillian wrapped around his little finger.  They must have to sign something that says "This show may make you look like a complete and utter dumb ass."  Otherwise, how do they get away with that?  I don't know how everyone else reacted to Wes' revelation, but my husband simply said "He is awesome." 

The rest of the guys were treated to a day of snow shoeing in Emerald Lake, while Reid, who was going to have the next one-on-one, proceeded to grill the staff on the train about what he should do on his date with Jillian.  Calling his conversation with Jillian "electric," Jake told Jillian that she reminds him of his mother.  Paging Norman Bates.  The guys got to hang out with Jillian later, where we got the token Jillian/Kiptyn makeout session, and then Tanner showed off his giant package, and some sort of fanny pack around his waist.  Although it was pixilated, Jillian assured cameras it was "huge."  Tanner proceeded to give us more LOL moments, declaring that Jillian now "knows that I'm blessed" and that her feet would be absolutely perfect if she only wore the nail polish color "mango mango".  He then showed how his warped mind works, saying that her feet have made her worthy of meeting his family.  WTF!  Wes then revealed himself to the rest of the guys to be the snake that he is, and Kiptyn got the rose.  Yawn. 

Reid got his one-on-one, where he revealed his many neuroses, including being anti-fondue because of the unsanitary nature of the whole thing, but Jillian found all of his little foibles just adorable.  He even admitted he had no game plan about where each of them would move if it worked out, and she thought that was just so great as well.  The guy could have probably taken a dump right there, and she would have deemed it was cute as a button.  Something else I noticed is that Jillian's favorite thing to do during her makeout sessions is to straddle the guys.  Classssssy.

The best Chris Harrison moment of the night was when he waited for them at the train station.  I just love that guy and his role on the show.  He then talked to Jillian, who said that she knows "Tanner is crazy about me," and that Wes "genuinely cares for me."  Sometimes, Chris has got to just want to say "Shhhhhh...trust me on this...just shhhhh."  After questioning Michael one last time about whether he was truly ready for the big commitment, Jillian let Tanner and his foot fetish go, along with an absolutely crushed Jake.  As always, the previews were the best part, with promises of Jake returning in full stalker mode, as well as the revelation of which bachelor couldn't get his flag to fly during the upcoming fantasy suite date.  Bring it on, ABC, bring it on!

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