Saying I'm sorry and meaning it

October 28, 8:26 PMAustin Communication Skills ExaminerAnisa Lewis

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Kanye West publicly apologizes to Taylor Swift after the 2009 MTV Video Awards.
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We all do things in life that we feel horrible for. For some people it's easy to apologize for a mistake while for others it's really difficult. Sometimes it's hard to admit when you're wrong yet learning to do so will make you a better person. Seeking forgiveness is a healthy policy when we believe we may have hurt our loved ones. However, a hollow apology is worse than no apology at all. By learning the importance of the correct approach to an apology, you'll be able to better diffuse a situation and becomes a better person in the process.

There are three powerful elements to an apology that will determine how the apology is received. When you say  'I'm sorry' be sure to:

Be sincere - The one thing that can measure your true remorse is sincerity. An insincere apology can offend while a sincere apology means it is genuine and pure. Don't apologize too much or too soon. Step away from the conflict then return to your partner without yelling, cursing, or throwing inanimate objects. You'll more than likely get an apology in return.

Take responsibility for your own actions - An apology is genuine and wholehearted when you state it without making excuses. Take full responsibility for your actions. 'It was my fault, I take responsibility and I am sorry'. When you add pitiful excuses to your apology ('Sorry, I had a bad day, I'm cranky, I'm PMS'ing) then you are excusing the action and it removes the candor of the gesture.

Offer a true promise that you will try to do better - 'I'm sorry I messed up. I'll work to make sure this never happens again because I love you too much'. Sappy, but honest. When you make a promise to do better, please....stick to it.

An apology has to be real to heal. We can sense when we receive a counterfeit apology, it adds insult to injury. It takes a big person to admit they're wrong. People will respect a real apology and more easily forgive.