Holy Mother of Cupcakes, Batman!

January 25, 10:38 PMBoston Cooking ExaminerErik Wunderlich

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Photo courtesy of Erik Wunderlich 

Every time I think of cupcakes, it never fails to bring me back to birthdays in grade school. We kids would be all lined up, totally secure that for this one day, this shining day was our day to shine. Each kid would get their time in the spotlight, teachers and parents making sure that everyone got one cupcake each, for one brief moment all of the strife in the class and schoolyard drama was forgotten. Each cupcake was a little piece of sunshine, an intricately worked puzzle, a clue to the nature of the birthday girl or boy (or their parents).

Some would be exactly from the box, some totally overwhelmed by its toppings, or (unfortunately) dry as sawdust washed down with sand. Each one different from its mates, as unique as snowflakes, they would demarcate the changing of the seasons and tastes. Each year there was always one parent going through some crisis of faith with the traditional cupcakes of yore and try to subvert the natural beauty of the birthday cupcake with something sinister: whole wheat, tofu derived (this was California in the 80's after all), macrobiotic or with brewers yeast. Each year would bring the classics: vanilla cake, chocolate cake, carrot cake, and toppings to match or contrast with the base ingredient: sugar.

I was tickled when I began to hear of the phenomenon of 3$ cupcakes from friends in Seattle and New York, and couldn’t wait to see what my brilliant colleagues on the pastry side of the fence would come up with to justify the expense. I was thinking, surely they have gold inlay or super-secret sugar? I have sought out the Platonic Ideal of cupcakes in each town I have lived in, and found some similarities and differences. Some similarities: they all have cute names from the increasingly popular "Sprinkles" in LA, to the chic ateliers of style in NYC, to the understated cool of "Cupcake Royale" in Seattle and the "Publix" chain (of grocery stores down south). Differences: well, some are good, some bad, some downright awful... Some have wonderfully fresh cakes and some rely on gimmicks like wheat germ and carob (in place of chocolate) making what should be sinful and fun just drudgery to eat.

Last Saturday I was out for the day with my wife and one of her good friends looking for a legendary fresh pasta store (more on that later, we did actually find it) when we came across a local cult favorite: Kick-*ss Cupcakes. This is a local Somerville store that has a great word of mouth reputation. We (the three of us) split an order of a dozen and the first thing that was shocking to me (other than the incredibly long line in an incredibly small store) was the price: 33$ for the dozen. Talk about sticker shock! I though I had misheard the total, and was slightly unprepared to be paying for "cupcakes" for petes’ sake with a credit card. However, the service was nice and the people in the store were clearly ready for the prices and lines, so maybe I was the one who had the problem. I figured it was just a fluke and it would be made all better by the eating of these rare and expensive cupcakes. More on that to come.

The store is very small, most of its space taken up by display counters filled with tasty treats for all comers, but the standing room extremely small. Behind the counter a small cheerful crew of men and women rush to fulfill the very fast pace of orders. There are daily specials for every day, each day bringing a new specialty cupcake, the board is full of special suggestions like deep fried cupcakes (only on the weekends), t-shirts, vegan cupcakes, "adult" cupcakes (with alcohol in such as lemon drop and mojito), cupcakes for dogs and cats, and cupcakes in various sizes (x-small to x-large). There seems to be a cupcake to meet the need of the most discerning customer, and also there are toppings on the side if the pure sugar rush is what you crave.

Unfortunately, of the 15 flavors available (of which we tried six), there were few standouts. Each one seemed to have the same problem. They were all very very dry, not moist at all. For me that is a crucial issue for the enjoyment of the cupcake. Though the flavor combinations were inventive, it seemed that each cupcake was dependent on its frosting to carry the day, flavor wise. I admit that the sampling was smaller than I would have liked, however we tried some of the standbys like vanilla, chocolate, "Ultimate" chocolate (the weakest in the bunch for me). We also tried some fancier varieties like: mojito (not great to me), and caramel chai (ok, but not great, with a cloying aftertaste and the dryest of the bunch). There was, however, one shining light in the bunch: the red velvet cupcake (also the Saturday special) it was moist, delightful and exactly what a cupcake should be. I am a long time fan of red velvet cake, and the frosting was the platonic ideal of frosting a wonderful foil for the rich creamy cake. This one fit the bill exactly.

All that said, it is a nice place and I hope they do well in the future, but I unfortunately agree with the words of my wife who said, "I don’t feel the need to go back there."

Cheers,

Erik