A Progressive’s guide to surviving right-wing relatives

November 26, 10:22 PMDC Corporate Ethics ExaminerJim Cunningham

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I’ve noticed a few lists out there offering advise on how Progressives can survive the holidays with all those Conservative relatives. Before I offer some thoughts of my own (and boy do I ever have a dilly of my own list), here are a few of those other lists:

First, here’s Alternet’s ”How to counter 10 of the most common myths conservatives believe about progressives.”
 

1. Liberals hate America.
2. Liberals want to leave us defenseless in the face of evildoers around the world.
3. Liberals hate the free market.
4. Liberals hate our troops.
5. Liberals are a bunch of elitists who hate decent working- and middle-class Americans.
6. Liberals are against "family values."
7. Liberals want to raise our taxes.
8. Liberals are Godless -- and therefore, amoral.

[Oh, wait this one gets juicy. Here’s a quote.]

…since they honestly believe that nobody can possibly behave themselves unless there's some outside authority keeping a hairy eyeball on them. (It's tempting to speculate about what people who believe this might try to get away with when they think nobody's watching; personally, I think it's an incriminating admission that they can't be trusted behind closed doors.”

9. Liberals don't believe in personal responsibility.
10. Liberals are wimps.

I think this summs it up quite nicely:

America's greatest moments of progress, generosity, and moral strength occurred when the country stuck most closely to its progressive ideals. We loved America so much that we freed the slaves, passed child labor laws, built schools and colleges, gave the vote to women, enacted civil rights laws, rebuilt Europe after a war we helped win, and put a man on the moon. All of these were progressive projects -- and all were fought tooth and nail by conservatives in their time, simply because they feared change and saw power as a zero-sum game.”

Then there’s ”Ten things to know if you're having Thanksgiving with Republicans”

My personal favorite of those is:

The majority of rich Americans voted to have their wealth spread.”

And here’s a list of what Progressives are thankful for this year. Here’s a taste:

We're thankful that Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow are demonstrating every night how strong and intelligent progressive voices can be successful on TV.”

And now it’s my turn… I’ll just call mine
8 things to remember around your Republican family this holiday season (Would you have been any happier if I padded my list to make it an even 10? I didn’t think so. Cheers to self editing!)

1. You can only persuade the persuadable. Being the politically-minded souls that we are, it shouldn’t come as any surprise when I remind you that you can only persuade the persuadable. Remember all those billions of dollars spend this election on advertising? All that money has two goals: one, to make sure the party bases were angry enough to go vote and, two, to go after the fence-sitters or “swing” voters. Do you know how much money was spent trying to get one party’s base to vote for the OTHER party? Zero! You should consider this when spending your own time and energy. If they can’t be convinced, then you’re wasting your time and energy and getting yourself all hot and bothered over nothing. If you think someone is persuadable, then it may be worth your time.

2. There is such a thing as objective journalism. Now, if you’re like me, you’re continually irritated by people’s capacity to come to their opinions based on faulty information. (And if you are, you probably read a dozen emails a day from Media Matters.) This can be frustrating, but the choir do like to be preached to and people actively seek out media that already shares their point of view, but do try and explain that there IS such a thing as objective journalism. They teach it in school. There are rules. If media is biased it means they are breaking those rules. Oh, and a fact doesn’t need an opposing viewpoint. You can’t say “I disagree” with a fact. Facts can and should be reported as facts – even inconvenient ones – without qualifications like “Democrats say that”. If a newspaper can corroborate it, then they should and do report it and ignore people who complain. This does not make them a “liberal newspaper”; it just makes them a newspaper.

3. The hate on both sides is not equal. Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann don’t balance each other out. Michael Moore and Anne Coulter are not opposites. (No one’s even close to Ann Coulter.) Keith Olbermann doesn’t accuse people who disagree with him as being unpatriotic. Michael Moore has never called for conservatives to be deported. The famous “leftists” that conservatives like to crow about are nowhere near on par with rightwing talking heads who incite violence – saying liberals “are treasonous and need to be taken out and shot.”

 4. Avoid the one-issue voter. Guns, abortion, taxes, gay marriage. It takes a special kind of selfish to ignore all other issues and base all political decisions on a single litmus test. Few can have an objective conversation and, in some extreme cases, some may not be entirely sane. For your own safety agree to disagree and watch football.

5. Racial generalizations are still wrong. It’s not OK for them to be prejudiced now just because we have a black president. Black people still have the same problems they always had and for the same reasons. But they do have a right to be excited and, no, they don’t have a “chip on their shoulder” now just because they express excitement and hope. It’s true that many people – which include African Americans – have an inflated and unrealistic view of what the President of the United States can do, but this is true of the general population at large and not specific to African Americans. The problem is that some people need a civics lesson, not that they now own a brand of hope that didn’t exist prior. 13% of the voters were black. It was 11% in 2004. Black people make up 12% of the general population. They made up an extra 2% of voters this year. Obama won by 6% of the popular vote. So, remind them a lot of white people voted for Barack Obama.

6. Don’t accept the premise. Many rightwing arguments are based on false premises. (Iraq didn’t attack us on 911. People on Welfare learn trades and go back to work. Not everyone gets unemployment. Nobody gets paid not to work. No artist is getting tax dollars to defecate on flags. “Under God” wasn’t always on our money or in the Pledge. The Cold War is over. Treehuggers don’t want to make everyone live like cavemen. Al Gore never said he invented the internet. John Edwards never received a $400 haircut. The separation of church and state is already settled law.) The words, “I don’t accept the premise” disarm arguments. Correct the premise and you force people to think.

7. The details matter. Rightwingers like to find one incorrect detail in an argument and use that to discredit a whole argument – especially a mostly-valid one. If you’re arguing that global warming will cause sea levels to rise and mention melting ice bergs, they will quickly point out that ice bergs displace the same amount of volume whether they’re solid or liquid and proceed to tell you that it proves that global warming is a lie. So get it right. When land-based ice melts sea levels rise. Correct their details too. It matters.

8. Listen to your therapist. Your parents don’t treat you like that because of your liberal views or because you went to a liberal college or because they forgot you’re all grown up and can think for yourself. They treat you like that because they’re your parents! All parents treat they’re children like children until everyone grows old and dies. Always. Parents don’t listen to their kids. Ever! So, remember you have your own life and you’re not the person they think you are. So, just be nice to them until you can go back to your own life and not calling them. Your co-pay on a therapist visits is only $25.00 and you can get a few more sessions in before you have to repay your deductible in January.

Good luck out there. Remember, on New Year’s Eve you get to blow off steam with all your liberal friends.