Save a bull, ride a buckle bunny!
It’s January, the heat’s off in my building, the on-going miscellaneous political imbroglios are quickly losing their luster…you thought I’d be outraged, outraged(!) about Samuel J. “Joe The Plumber” Wurzelbacher traveling to Israel as a war correspondent for pjtv.com? [Shrugs] Meh. I spent 10+ years slaving in the trenches of network news, kiddies: I gulp down more outrage than that with my Wheaties in the morning. Like the manager at a certain network who asked a friend where on the map the Aryan Nation was…? Or the reporter at another network who asked her producer as to which had come first: the American Civil War…or the Vietnam War? I am a produced playwright but I. Cannot. Make. This. Up! If anything, Joe the Plumber can only raise the extremely low bar which is infotainment news-you-can-lose today.
I’ve even been able to lower my blood pressure regarding the likelihood of Caroline “I’m um, like, you know, totally experienced and um, qualified” Kennedy Schlossberg being named our state’s junior senator. Once I seriously contemplated how much her appointment would enrage Andrew Cuomo—smacking his gargantuan sense of entitlement in the face—I became all for it. Sure. Why not? Since apparently the seat has become the political version of “Hollywood Squares,” I vote for a cage fight between increasingly irrelevant Democratic dynasties.
Anyway, back to me! Here I am, hunkered down in my wormhole, eating peanut butter straight from the jar, awaiting some good reason to wash my naughty bits and come out and play… and then, it hits me: The Professional Bull Riders’ Built Ford Tough Invitational at Madison Square Garden, January 9-11, 2009 (pbrnow.com). Holla! If only I still had those awesome red leather cowboy boots…
And apparently, despite the rest of our economy being in the crapper, the PBR is hiring! They have an application form on line, which would allow me to join the various tours: so very tempting. I’d just have to win $2,500 to see my status upgraded from permit to cardholder…there is something a little bit romantic? (And/or, misguided?) about running away to join the rodeo. I just checked and I have a little bit of gin and peanut butter left, so I’m returning to bed. Ride ‘em, cowboys!
For more info: The Professional Bull Riders Built Ford Tough Invitational runs at MSG from January 9-11, 2009; check out the website, www.pbrnow.com, for further information. Tickets range from $10-$195.