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Iron Monkey 2 really shames kung fu movies
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They say that sequels are never as good as the original, and boy does this one prove that saying true. Iron Monkey 2 gives cheap kung fu movies a bad name. To put it bluntly, this movie makes Supergirl look like the X-Men.
The only thing that links Iron Monkey 2 to the original is the fact Donnie Yen stars in it. Or supposedly stars in it. He’s barely even in the movie. Darth Maul had a bigger part in the Phantom Menace compared to Yen’s brief appearances in this stink-fest.
The production is low grade. Fight scenes are poorly choreographed and it’s like every shot is filmed in close up. You can barely make out what the heck is going on. The dialogue is ridiculous, even for kung fu movie standards. The plot… well I’m guessing at this because there’s no cohesion between scenes. You don’t even know character’s names or why things are even happening.
Jade Tiger is the main villain who runs a local club and traffics in guns. In the beginning sequence, Iron Monkey and several men attempt to assassinate Jade Tiger. But unfortunately the gun-wielding bad guys stop them.
Suddenly we cut to a con-man and his girlfriend escaping from a debt collector. But they are saved by a stranger who is looking for his father. The father is of course the blind man walking thru town – blinded from the assassination attempt with his best buddy the Iron Monkey.
But wait it gets better. So now a shipment of guns are delivered; what do the bad guys do… drive thru town shooting people from a car. Why not, how else do you test hardware?
Oh wait, there’s the woman who’s father was killed by Jade Tiger. She wants to hire Iron Monkey to get revenge. Of course the stranger is mistaken for Iron Monkey and hired, even though he admits he’s not Iron Monkey. And let’s not forget that the con-man and his girlfriend trick their way into working for Jade Tiger.
Iron Monkey and the stranger of course fight – but eventually work together. The con-man realizes that he must stop pursuing money and fight the good fight. People die, guns are stolen, Iron Monkey tries to save his friend, and Jade Tiger hires his brother to help kill the Monkey. He must say the word brother fifty times in under a minute. He beats Hulk Hogan’s record.
Darn it, I totally forgot to mention that on the way to the village, the stranger saves a small boat full of people, including a baby. See I’m so caught up in this editing mess of a movie I’m starting to write like it.
I strongly suggest avoiding this one. Unless you have brain cells you no longer need. Why Iron Monkey doesn’t even join the final fight until it’s almost over. And how does a con-man who was constantly getting his butt kicked suddenly develops kick butt kung fu skills after his tragic loss?
If ever someone tries to give you this movie: available on DVD – as a gift… you should slap them senseless.
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