Rep. Kirk's Super Pot!

June 17, 7:23 PMMedical Marijuana ExaminerWyatt Shev

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U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk

Hey there, hash fiend! Yes, you, you lank-haired, tie-dyed layabout. You wanna hear something really trippy?

Light up a spliff or take a long, deep hit on your bong, Cheech- and join me on a journey through time and space...

Now close those bloodshot eyes and picture this- it's the year 2009.

The United States of America has a black President, a President who has freely admitted to smoking marijuana in his youth.

There are fourteen states within the Union that grant qualifying patients access to medical marijuana, each with their own particular laws and regulations... or lack thereof. Case in point- the Republic of California.

Almost any time you turn on your TV these days, you'll find someone talking about the possible legalization of marijuana. Hell, CNN is running investigative reports on that very subject every night this week. Let's put it this way- with the economy in the crapper, it doesn't make a helluva lot of sense for the government not to  tax and regulate a so-called 'drug' that an estimated 15 - 20% of Americans indulge in regularly. 

And c'mon... 15 to 20%? That's gotta be a pretty conservative estimate. It ain't no big secret that Americans love their weed. 

Even the Governator himself- Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger, is starting to throw his (considerable) weight around. He's called for a debate on whether or not California should legalize marijuana. For those who might be a little confused, marijuana isn't actually legal yet in California- though it really might as well be. Anyone who's ever had a stomach pains, a sleepless night or a headache can easily qualify for a referral, and then purchase their pot safely and legally through a sprawling network of privately-owned coops and dispensaries. 

Sounds like legislative and regulatory bodies in the U.S. of A are finally on the brink of embracing a tolerant, enlightened attitude, right?

Is this is the dawning of a bright new age for stoners everywhere? 

In a nutshell, no. We're a while off yet.

Consider the misinformed ramblings of U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk, (R) Chicago. 

Kirk wants to raise jail sentences to up to 25 years for dealers caught trafficking in plants with THC levels of 15% or higher.

In this day of smokin' Presidents and hep-cat Governors, Kirk really comes across as square.

Rep. Kirk called for his archaic legislation on Monday, claiming that high-potency strains such as 'kush' had been turning up more and more in Lake County, IL. The argument is, the higher the THC level- and some kush strains have been tested at 20% or higher- the more damage done to a user's system. According to the DEA, an ounce of kush can be sold for as much as $600 on the street, a similar profit margin to crack cocaine. 

Well, DEA, I think you're a little off there. I can get you an ounce of kush for much cheaper than that.

And as for increased THC levels? I've heard one politician describe the difference between today's 'Super Pot' strains and those in decades past as being like 'whiskey to light beer'. That may be so- today's White Widow is probably just a little bit stronger than that brownish leafy stuff your Dad grew in the garage in the 70's. I, for one, would like to know why that's such a bad thing. 

Seriously... that's just more bang for your buck, right?

So, Rep. Kirk, you want to punish marijuana traffickers with 25-year prison sentences? 

Have you lost your $#&^ing mind?

Mr. Representative, here's some numbers for you, just to give a sense of perspective...

The average prison sentence for criminals convicted of burglary in the United States- 1.33 years.

The average prison sentence for criminals convicted of assault/battery in the United States- 5.03 years.

The average prison sentence for criminals convicted of rape in the United States- 9.75 years.

The average prison sentence for criminals convicted of homicide in the United States- 12.41 years.

Keep in mind, the above figures represent sentencing only... not time served. Typically, less than 50% of any given prison sentence in the United States will actually be served in it's entirety.

Rep. Kirk will apparently be providing some more information about his radical proposal this coming Monday. I can only imagine he will resort to the usual Conservative fear-mongering and fact-butchery. 

Until next time... stay informed, stay cool and stay LIFTED!