And They Called it Puppy Love

July 17, 4:14 PMCharleston Cats ExaminerCatherine Wallace

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A recent on-line article suggested that a puppy was the perfect boyfriend replacement.

Fact granted, anyone who loves animals knows the comfort found in the loving nuzzles and head bumps of a family dog, cat, parrot, horse, piggy, ferret, or other animal.

God's creatures are amazingly compassionate concerning the hearts and minds of humans, and often they comfort their human family members when we need them the most. Countless times we read about the sensitive nature of pets who have saved lives, improved the quality of human existence, and protected us in the face of death or natural disaster.

As with all comforts, those we seek can be for the right or wrong reasons. When losing someone or something that results in a negative psychological impact, it is important to realize that we may not be thinking clearly, and may make poor choices. In the loss of a loved one, it is acceptable to cry, eat too much ice-cream, spend too much money, take up a new hobby, or travel to regain perspective. Adopting a living creature feels good, but it may not be the wisest decision for the welfare of the animal.

If we tend to be very despondent in the loss of a relationship, we run the risk of animal neglect.
All animals, and especially young puppies and kittens, do not understand waiting for food, a walk, or being ignored. When we grieve, we can lose our sense of perspective and a time frame for things that require regular attention or a schedule. When we rise from the fog of depression, we may have to deal with mishaps of the litter box, puppy puddles near the door, or shredded objects that have become teething toys.

When we are hurting, the focus of emotional comfort can quickly switch to another object, and the cute little pet we bring home in haste may go unfed, without a clean litter box, no water or worse. The commitment to an animal is much like marriage -- until death do us part. When we cannot make a life-long commitment to a pet, we are better off  taking a step back, consider the devotion and time required, and look objectively at the emotional investment in a pet. In some cases, we don't realize until after the fact that we have let a lot of issues float above our radar screen. When we are hurting emotionally, rational decisions are often impossible, but we may not realize the regrettable mistake until later on when care and feeding have become issues that we can no longer ignore.

Before we sign on the dotted line for furred or feathered surrogate lover, please consider the following:

• Care, feeding, exercise, play and communication with any animal may require a minimum of one to two hours each day; in many cases, many more hours are required. Large parrots, such as Macaws and Cockatoos, require a minimum of four hours of interaction every day, 365 days a year -- more than four hours per day is standard to a happy, well-adjusted parrot. Photographs of featherless birds are heart-wrenching, and good examples of neglected animals purchased in the heat of the moment, then surrendered to a rescue shelter.
• Veterinary care, special food, toys and accessories can become very expensive, often at a cost of hundreds or thousands of dollars each year. Spay and neuter procedures alone can cost $100 or more. The cost of inoculations, flea treatments and illness can make a life-altering adjustment to the household budget.
• An adoption agreement is a legal and binding contract; violation of that contract, by neglect or poor care, can result in legal action including court fines, penalties, and a criminal record in some cases.

Losing the love of your life is a devastating experience, but it is probably the worst time to emotionally invest in a new puppy or kitten, or any other animal. Even a fish requires daily care and interaction.

Take enough time to work through your grief in a healthy way; write about your broken heart in a memoir or diary; meet new friends without dating them; learn to enjoy time alone and get to know yourself; and gain some perspective as you are moving into the next phase of your life. If you are having trouble adjusting to a love loss, seek out the compassionate heart of a friend, minister, or counselor. As well as a pet can comfort us in our hurts, sometimes we need more than they can offer us.

Take the time to thoughtfully consider the impact of a new pet -- it's more than just a cute and fluffy experience -- it is a lifetime commitment. 

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