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The secret world of cats: Interview with the Kitty Guru
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Orange Tabby Kitten
People have different gifts - some use those gifts to make incredible contributions for the sake of humanity. Gifts have led the way to discover vaccines to fight diseases, invent the electric light bulb, and create air conditioning and indoor plumbing. Countless discoveries have come from ordinary individuals who have changed the lives of humans in the civilized world because of special gifts they have shared with others.
Individuals who have a gift that only a small circle of people have come to know, make no less impact upon society. One of those individuals happens to be an expert on the secret world of cats.
If you are a dog lover, you might stop here, and move on to some other area of interest. However, if you are a cat lover, you already possess som sense of the secret world of felines. If you are very fortunate, a cat comes to align itself with your soul, and comes to be one with you.
Maggie Hendrix, the Kitty Guru, is somewhat oblivious to the magic she has in her relationship with cats. She talks to them and they respond to her. Through the years, feline language has become a part of what cat lovers seem to recognize everywhere. Few, if any, have taken the time to put into words, what cats tell us every day.
Visiting the Kitty Guru is a wonder of sights and sounds. Every room has some of the most wonderful cat collector's items: A nearby coffee table hosts a cat figurine; the walls hold a myriad of cat art and kitty photographs. Even the powder room holds a small library of books - including a book on overweight cats, and the people who love them by over-feeding them.
Amazingly, there is not a single cat on the kitchen counters of Maggie's house. However, several cats grace the floor, a window full of sunshine, a staircase, or an end table. During the spring, there is usually a litter of kittens that all respond to Maggie's voice, more than the voice of their mother's special meow. From anywhere, Maggie can hail a cat, and they will all come running - or only one will respond, if that is what she requests. All are happy to serve from dusk to dawn in a place that has become a true haven for felines.
During the course of the interview, one feline had determined that Maggie's lap was the prime resting spot; she could not take a well-deserved break without some feline following her to any other adjoining room in the house. Sometimes they follow in single file; I found myself wondering if one of the local ducks had trained them in the art of following.
A glance out the living room window overlooks the Talladega National Forest -the mist hovers and the early morning heather-purple sky rises halfway up the scrub pines. Above the mist, the mountains dot the distance. Already the air whispers of the impending humidity, even in the coolness of the early morning.
Maggie answered my question before I had even asked it - she is telepathic sometimes.
“I was 18 months of age when I asked for a cat. Having a brother and sister ten years older than I (was) gave me the ability to speak my desires, at a very early age. Daddy hated cats, because one that was rabid had bitten him and he remembers the painful shots he endured in the abdomen, to avoid contracting rabies. Nevertheless, I was the baby, and what I wanted I got. It didn't take Daddy long to come up with a cat someone was giving away.”
A smile crossed Maggie's face, “I named her Mickey Mouse - she never seemed to mind her rodent-referenced name. Her tabby fur was my 'blanket' to go to sleep. Whenever Mickey would venture out of the backyard fence, she would be chased back by this neighborhood dog. The picket fence had a brace board about six inches from the top - that is where Mickey would study the dog as it walked away.
“One day, a notion came into her head and as the dog walked away, Mickey jumped and landed right in the middle of the beast's back. She straddled the dog for about a block, with all her claws buried in the dog's skin. That was the last day the dog chased Mickey,” Maggie said, as a chuckle ended the sentence.
Though the Kitty Guru is hesitant to credit any communication to psychic phenomena, she freely admits that cats have always chosen her through an unspoken process.
“I think cats are who they are. If one is lucky enough to have a cat own them, so much the better. They seek you out - not the other way around. It is not reincarnation or anything like that… Somewhere (in time) I was very close to cats. Their way of thinking is almost parallel to mine.”
Maggie has a unique language she has developed over the years, which describes many of the circumstances a cat lover might face. A dog lover probably cannot appreciate the ways in which a cat helps you with any project you may be facing.
A dog will faithfully plant itself at your feet, awaiting the decision that it is time to do something else. Not so with cats.
“I cannot attempt any task without ‘help.’ Even going to the bathroom is not sacred. Sitting on a commode simply affords the cat complete access to my lap or hands. I am a prisoner of my (own) humanity and they take that to be petting time,” Maggie says, wistfully. At her feet, a kitten is helping to untie her shoe for the second time, lying on its back grabbing for shoelaces upside down. I notice that the baby is grinning at Maggie - it is unquestionably a smile…coming from a cat.
As a schoolteacher, Maggie has special insight - her sense of humor and magical way of looking at everything makes her concept of cats a joy to experience. She shared with me some intimate moments, close to her heart.
“Paper grading is impossible at home. About the time I get the papers spread out to really start, ‘someone’ is going to get in the middle and sleep, jump, find monsters under the papers, or insist I pet them.”
The Kitty Guru shared in some of the secrets in which cats have confided with her. Several came to mind in rapid succession:
- A sewing machine is a large, expensive cat toy with lots of action.
- Cooking is not a task for feeding humans - it is the act of finding tidbits for cats. A dab of mayonnaise on a feline nose will distract a curious cat for about half an hour. Butter is a good alternative. This is a God send when you have to cook and the cats will not leave you alone long enough to think.
- Cellophane tape placed on any part of the cat will induce kitty acrobatics extraordinaire - the best place to put the tape is the bottom of the paw. A piece of tape placed on the tail doesn't last as long, but the base of the tail keeps them busy.
- Biscuits are the kneading motion a cat makes when it is content. Painful biscuits indicate that kitty wants to share their biscuits with their human family member. Cats do not care if you are clothed, or not. Of course, the most painful biscuits are made on bare parts of the body. Unless you have on cat armor, you cannot escape painful biscuits. Take heart … painful biscuits are not given to just anyone - they are saved for special occasions and special humans.
- Doing cute can be any number of antics - all done to endear a human's heart to their cat. There is monster cute, rollie-over cute, blanket monster cute, paper bag cute and various other kinds of cute. Extreme conditions of any of these are major cute violations; lesser versions are simply called cute violations.
- Love eyes occur when a cat engages a human in its stare, then squints and smiles, which is kitty body language for “I love you.”
- Fuzz management is the care and concern for every hair that a cat has on its body. Fuzz management is taught early, and is a daily concern. Any self-respecting cat knows they must always be ready for their human to make silly goo-goo noises at them, and to do so, it requires a perfectly groomed feline fur coat.
- Spidering is an action which usually only lasts a short time during kitten hood. Kittens will arch their back on pointed toes and walk sideways at their littermates, or other things, which activate extreme periods of play. Every hair is sticking straight out and the spidering makes a kitten appear as though it were at least twice its real size.
- The Tao of Egg and Milk creates a bond between the human and their feline. Simply beat an egg into some milk; once kitty has tasted this, the sound of the fork against the bowl will bring them running from all corners of the house. Ice cream will produce much the same reaction - cats will learn that the sound of the freezer door means there is a hope of having ice cream. Given some time, kitty will recognize your favorite flavor. Eventually, a cat will learn the word “ice cream,” so you must take care to whisper the word, if you wish to eat ice cream alone.
- Me-out is the request for kitty to go outside the house. Me-in means kitty wants to come in the house. Sometimes, when kitty is confused, they want come me-in and me-out several times per hour. If you are lucky enough to have several cats own you, your felines will play the me-in and me-out game for a large portion of the day. This event can completely ruin any chance the human person might have to accomplish anything constructive.
- Letting the cat out of the bag is letting kitty out gently when he goes exploring into the Land of Paper and Plastic Bags. Most felines love it when you play with them and pretend to discover them, or carry them around in a bag with handles.
- Wearing eye makeup is something that some cats enjoy. They are born with makeup and have some of the most interesting applications any human could imagine. Maybe we could learn makeup techniques from cats. Perhaps Oscat de Laurent, Cat LaRoche, or Cat Lauren, just to name a few.
There were extraordinary explanations for just about anything affiliated with a cat. The list is wondrous and it changes, sometimes daily.
One of the most difficult subjects for any cat lover is when a feline member of the family disappears, or passes away in death.
Maggie is no exception to tear-filled sky-blue eyes and a lump in her throat of losing a beloved fur-person. She reflected upon a sleek black cat that she called The Negro, who called her “Naho rrhoa,” and was probably one of the great kitty-loves of Maggie's life. The Negro died after a fatal encounter with a six-foot timber rattlesnake. He disappeared into the woods and was never seen again.
Death is impartial - it comes to all of us, eventually. Painfully, it sometimes comes to our family with four legs and a tail.
After the death of a beloved feline (or any animal with whom we share our lives), there are no words to ease the pain of loss. But there is comfort in believing that those with fur who precede us in death have crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge, and wait for us on the other side.
Maggie was not hesitant to say she believes in the Rainbow Bridge, as most animal lovers will freely admit. There is a sense of peace when we believe that a furry loved one will be seen again in heaven, and they are waiting for our arrival. If we believe that such a place exists, then we shall see our beloved creatures again.
There are many things in the world of cats; most are joyous memories, and some are sad ones. Nevertheless, all of the events that open our eyes and hearts to the hidden world of a cat are magical ones. When we permit a cat into our heart, they will show us things in their mysterious and humorous world - the secret world of cats.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy the following:
- The secret world of cats: Interview with the Kitty Guru
- Urinary tract infections in cats: Ignoring the symptoms of a dangerous illness
- Reading the feline stars: A fun look at the Aries, Taurus, and Gemini kitty
- Reading the feline stars: A fun look at the Cancer, Leo and Virgo kitty
- And They Called it Puppy Love
- Cat Feeding 101: Unlocking the mystery of feline nutrition
- Cat Feeding 101: Looking more closely at feline nutrition
- Reading the feline stars: A fun look at the Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius kitty
- Reading the feline stars: A fun look at the Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces kitty
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