The Libertarian Almanac – March

March 1, 11:58 AMDallas Libertarian ExaminerGarry Reed

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Featuring stuff about this month of particular interest to libertarians and freedom-minded folks in general.

The Marquis' rookie card? "Lafayette's
baptism of fire" by Edward Percy Moran.
c. 1909

March 4 – The Constitution is ratified in 1789 and free enterprise, along with all the other freedoms, becomes the law of the land.

Thirteen seconds later, Twelve-year-old Johniston Hancock III of Beacon Hill, Boston, Mass, pulled off the first recorded free trade coup in the new Republic of These Several Free and Independent States of America.

Young Johniston suckered his cousin, Benjamin Lake Champlain, by swapping three Delaware Blue Hen Regimental Regulars, a Roger's Rangers French & Indian War veteran, and a second-string Connecticut Provincial Militiaman for Marquis de Lafayette's rookie card.

Johniston experienced the satisfaction of personal achievement from his shrewd but honest non-coercive, non-intimidating and non-fraudulent dealing. Cousin Benjamin, on the other hand, became a whiner and crybaby and grew up bellyaching about “victimization” instead of taking responsibility for his own bad decision and learning from it.

Thus were the two Americas born, the freedom-loving America and the freedom-hating America. Today, the whining freedom-haters run the country.

Popular depiction of rabble-rouser Pat
Henry delivering his monologue on
Freedom vs. Death.

March 23 – Patrick Henry, billed as “The Firebrand of the Revolution,” debuted his one man show “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” in St. John’s Church In Richmond, Virginia, in 1775. His performance art was an instant hit with freedom fans in the audience.

Rave reviews followed in the colonial press, including “brilliant” (Poor Richards Wikipedia), “bracing” (The Pennsylvania Google-Search), “Must hear” (Boston World Wide Web), and “Oratory of the year” (Philadelphia Examiner.com).

March 23 – In 2008, Patsy Penury, self-styled “Spokesperson for the Sheeple’s Collectivist Movement,” angrily declared “Give me a free ride and give me government death benefits” during a publically financed Million Welfare Recipients March on Washington where obedient followers strung together Prophet Obama’s most famous words and chanted incessantly, “Yes we can change hope!”

Liberal East Coast newspapers gave Penury rave reviews, including the New York Move-On who giddily declared the Recipients Rights Advocate as “the spiritual heir to the grand traditions of our nation’s Victimhood founder, Benjamin Lake Champlain.”