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More than a job: Finding the real "YOU" beyond a title
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The practice of swadhyaya allows for self-truth by answering the question,
"Who am I?" Photo courtesy of Steven Fernandez.
Spiritual Sadhana: Swadhyaya
I remember losing my job. I remember thinking I was so far under even a breath of fresh air felt like breathing under water.
“You’re more than just a job,” my friend, Stefan, told me. It was inspiring at the time but pain-stakingly awakening to realize that while we are more than our jobs, we make our jobs everything we are. We identify our name with our titles on business cards and spell our companies out on social media outlets, like Facebook or Twitter. Our voice mails identify not just what we do, but who we are. It's the question we've been asked since we were kids - "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And when our jobs crumble, our lives crumble too.
This week's spiritual sadhana is Swadhyaya. In other words, it's part of the yogic journey of "a divulging path of truth and wisdom via the body, breath, mind, emotions and spirit" (Gaia Flow Yoga). Swadhyaya is the part of this road map that leads to truth through the study of self.
Sri Ramana Maharshi says that self-inquiry is discovered by identifying what we are not. By asking the question, "Who am I?", we discover who we are not. You may say to an injury, "I am not my body". Or to an obstacle in history, "I am not my family or my history". Or to your newly-designed budget, "I am not my possessions". You are not your current situation, your predisposition, your religion or people's perception of you.
By the process of elimination we move to make a true matter of who we are, defying the material world, and reaching inward bare of hidden agendas and in pure want of the truth.
“What do you want me to be when I grow up?” I asked my mom as a little girl. “I want you to be happy,” she said.
I remember not understanding how I could be happy without being something else. I remember having this great sense of urgency to identify with my dreams - To be a veterinarian, an ice skater, a marine biologist. I felt as if these dreams latched onto making everything else in my life possible.
Yet, it wasn't until I lost my job nearly two decades later that I realized happiness isn't in what I identify with, but happiness is what's inside me. It is not an easy journey. Learning about yourself can sometimes be uncomfortable, stepping outside of your comfort zone and away from the stereotypes of society. It was much easier to say, "I am unemployed and the economy's tanking" than tell people of the wonderful discoveries I had found through my loss and the gains I had found in pursuit of work that made me happy.
When at social events or gatherings, I challenge the minds of others (and my own mind) by answering the ever popular question of, "So, what do you do?" to the real answer. I tell them, "I like to color when I can, write short stories, take yoga practices and spend time with my family. I love my dog and my boyfriend is fabulous, too."
Your job may change. But you? You are always, beautifully, uniquely you. I invite you this week to peel yourself away from your job title, away from what you typically say when you are asked the question, "So, what do you do?"
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