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Meeting your significant other's needs
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How many times have you given that special male in your life a teddy bear for Valentine's day? Now think about it, is that really what he wanted? Do you ever see him cuddling up to it? Holding it? Telling it his most intimate of thoughts? Probably not. Why do we, as women, insist on giving to men what we want ourselves instead of what they want?
Maybe because it’s natural to treat someone the way you want to be treated. How many times have we heard “Do unto others...”? And sure, when we’re talking about being kind to your fellow man that makes perfect sense. But when we’re talking about meeting needs, it makes less sense.
For example, I have a male friend who was having a pretty hard time with his life. He was recently in touch with an old female friend of his who after hearing about his hardships offered they get together for a drink so she could give him a "big hug". Now, as women, we see that as a caring and sweet gesture. The guy? He immediately thought, what good would a hug do me? I need a secretary, a better paying job and a vacation. But a hug? Not even close.
Communicate, find out what your man needs. If space is what he needs, give it to him. Don’t follow him around the house badgering him just because you feel like if you don't talk at that very moment your head will explode. And let him know your needs as well. This tango takes two. Meeting each other’s needs, especially if it means venturing out of your comfort zone, is a great way to show your significant other just how much they mean to you.
For more info:
- Celebrating the ones we love
- How can I communicate effectively?
- Sharing expectations with Prince Charming
Feel free to email Jenna with comments or questions.
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