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The anatomy of peace: Resolving the heart of conflict
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Photo by Jenna Rogers
Additional tools to help me relate to people more compassionately and relieve me of life's stress and anxiety? Yes, please!
As someone who holds the title of “Relationship Improvement Examiner”, I’d be remiss if I didn’t write about an amazing book I just read called “The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict”, by Arbinger Institute. The authors use a fictional tale to introduce you to and walk you through the steps necessary to break the pattern of inner and interpersonal conflict. The story takes place in Arizona where a group of parents meet to drop their troubled teens off at a wilderness camp. The children leave on their 60 day journey and the parents are grouped together to learn the most important lessons of their lives.
The group is led by 2 counselors who know much about conflict. One is an Arab and the other is a Jew. They share with the parents their struggles and life experiences and how they came to find peace where before was only discord. It all begins with a simple question. Is your heart at peace or at war?
By the end of the 2 days, the parents have the answer to that question. They are able to figure out what is at the heart of their individual conflicts and how to overcome them. And since no one can control anyone but themselves, they don’t learn how to make others change, but how to invite others to change. They also realize that, like so many of us, even though they’ve been saying they want things to get better, they’ve only been perpetuating conflict instead of working to resolve it.
I’m a firm believer that any change you want to see in the world must begin with yourself. Are you able to answer the question, is your heart at peace or at war? Read this book and begin your own journey of self-discovery. Watch your perception of people start to change. Watch your interactions with people transform into useful, positive interactions instead of anxiety-ridden, frustrated interactions.
Help pave the road to peace one person at a time.
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Feel free to email Jenna with questions or comments.
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