Celebrity Christmas cards that won't be spreading holiday cheer

December 24, 1:45 PMBaltimore Celebrity Headlines ExaminerCheryl Taragin

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Some celebrities are sending especially creative Christmas cards this year. Drag performer RuPaul reportedly photo shopped his head on Barack and Michelle Obama for his festive holiday greeting. The result seems more “Victor/Victora” flashback than “Yes We Can” motif, but it’s the spirit of the holidays that counts, right?

That got me thinking other celebrities should follow RuPaul’s lead. With the clock now ticking away the hours until “the most wonderful time of the year” and taking liberties with recent gossip (as well as with apologies for crude design), I decided to take a time out and lend these celebs a hand.

JENNIFER ANISTON

Happy Holidays (and take that, paparazzi scum)! Only I am allowed to blast my incredibly toned nude body all over the media. My magazine spread is sans wreaths, so make haste to thy nearest newsstand!

CARMEN ELECTRA

Eh, erm, Merry Christmas, I think. Uh, can somebody please get him off me? Somebody … anyone … he’s got a death grip and my left hand fell asleep.

MARSTON AND COOPER HEFNER

To our lovely dear family: We want what you got. Hand it over. Love and peace out.

JENNIFER LOPEZ AND MARC ANTHONY

Presents better be good or next year we may not be in the mood to send joint Holiday Greetings.

ASHLEE SIMPSON AND PETE WENTZ

Hot Momma Ashlee and I wish you and yours a very maunchy Merry Christmas!

MADONNA

Seasons Greetings, peons! My boy toy and his amazingly handsome body doubles want you to enjoy this special preview of our love.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Merry Christmas! Y’all don’t gimme no grief. I want him back, yo. Heck, he’s halfway back now.

ADOLPH HITLER CAMPBELL

Wishing you and yours an Aryan White Christmas.

AUBREY O'DAY

During this blessed time of faith, love, devotion, and peace on earth goodwill toward humans, let us not forget less fortunate members of the Woman Love Beast Society. Happy Holidays!