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Desperately Seeking Michael Phelps
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What can I say? I’m a fan. Big time.
Practically live right around the corner from Michael Phelps’ latest business venture, the Meadowbrook Swim Club, and often must restrain myself from constructing my own personal celebrity stakeout.
Every time I pass the abandoned Northwest Ice Rink, bulldogs and itty-bitty speedos cloud my brain. Yesterday, as I picked up a package from the Mt. Washington post office, I could almost feel Olympic vibes pulsing from across the parking lot. Either that or the afternoon shpritz caught me off guard.
It’s getting to be an obsession. Don’t get me wrong. Baltimore has its share of local and homegrown celebrities, plenty of big names living in and around the area, but none so fascinating as the eight golds in one Olympics Medallist hailing from nearby Rogers Forge.Everyone wants a piece of him, including me. Not in a literal sense, mind you, but in a “Michael Phelps and I exchanged pleasantries” type of aberrant wish-listing, a desire for the kind of encounter casually thrown into conversation just to see whether it raises my social status.
Highly unlikely, but so fun imagining reactions ranging from “Wow! You spent time with Phelps?!!,” to “Meh, he’s not such a big deal,” the former from the lips of an Olympics fanboy, the latter from a going nowhere fast pimply teenager.
It kills me to know there are people in this world unable to appreciate the significant difference between a .001 second relay victory and perfect 300 Wii bowling score. Those same people think playing 8243 consecutive major league baseball innings is no big deal and that Warren Buffet got lucky in the stock market.
One of these days, hopefully before another dream about peek-a-boo tats invades my mental space, I’ll have the good fortune to run across the best thing to happen to speedos since invisible zipper seams. In the meantime, I’ll have to satisfy myself with reports of presidential phone conversations, random celebrity encounters, award banquets, charitable foundations, parade receptions, and Barbara Walters upcoming 10 Most Fascinating People Special.
Can’t wait to find out who’s number one. The possibility of seeing President-elect Barack Obama in the same studio as confirmed guests Tina Fey and Rush Limbaugh is my idea of must see television.
Fun Michael Phelps Fact: Phelps officially became the most popular person on Facebook on August 25, 2008 with over 1.4 million fans. Since that time, his fan page has amassed more than two million members officially making Phelps the most popular person on Facebook of all time.
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