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Raising Brandon - creating a path to independence for your special needs kid review
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Photo/ Amalia Starr
With the CDC recently updating the number of children diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, the media buzzword right now is Autism. Everywhere you turn, on TV, the internet and radio, you hear that word or other disorders that are associated with it like Asperger Syndrome and PDD NOS. Most people probably associate Autism with children since they are the ones garnering the biggest share of attention, but there are adults on the Autism Spectrum too, many of which don't have a diagnosis.
"The way we look at our children and their limitations is precisely the way they will feel about themselves. We set the example, and they learn by taking their cues from us."
Amalia Starr is a mother and author who lived through, and is still coping with, the lack of knowledge and understanding of people on the spectrum. In her recent book, Raising Brandon - Creating a path to independence for your adult kid with autism and special needs, she shares her story of raising a boy on the spectrum before she even knew there was a name for it and what their life is like now that Brandon is an adult.
Brandon's disability came at a time before autism was well known, before the internet was available to search for medical information, and before it was socially acceptable to share information or even to admit that your child had a disability.
Brandon was 32 years old before his mother finally had a diagnosis or explanation for Brandon's behaviors. After a lifetime of being the only advocate for her son, he left her and became independent, living on his own for more than twelve years. They have since formed a better relationship and understanding of each other which has helped them both blossom as human beings.
"Focus on what your child can do, not on what your child can't.
From the beginning, this book may be difficult to read for any parent who has a child with autism or epilepsy, of which Brandon also has a severe form. The author relates many of her son's life experiences, like Brandon's experience in school where he was tortured by other students and often disregarded by teachers who had no training. Readers may question her decisions and might want to jump to condemnations. However, parents now face a different social atmosphere than Starr did in the 70's and 80's and she often reminds readers how her perspectives have changed over time in respect to her son and her own behaviors.
Any parent who has a child on the spectrum will also cheer and be awed by what Brandon has achieved considering the severity of his epilepsy and the social limitations of his Asperger syndrome. It seems that this book gives real hope that our children can grow to be independent from us and learn to rely on themselves and others in adulthood. Starr has come to an understanding that she has to meet her son where he is and not where she wants him to be, which was difficult for most of his life. She says that once she changed her mind about what he could and couldn't do, it was easier for them both to communicate with each other and to simply be with each other.
The author takes readers through life stages related to Brandon and herself with a section at the end of each chapter explaining what she learned. Seizures, behaviors and the school system are large parts of their life, as are doctors with good and bad advice. When she takes the advice of a doctor who advised not to share the information that her son has epilepsy, readers may cringe, but she explains in honesty and with clarity that she was doing what she thought was right, and based on what little family support she had.
"Hiding a child's medical condition doesn't help anyone. It does more harm than good."
Starr also lists many resources that can help a parent and child dealing with disability, and while she is from California, most resources have national links.
There are so many good recommendations for parents in general regarding their own behavior, that this review could be a book in itself. However, picking up and reading the book for yourself will enlighten you and may bring you hope that you never knew was possible.
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Amalia and Brandon
To buy this book and find more information on the author:
Mountain Star Publishing
P.O. Box 1357
Sierra Madre, CA 91025
www.AmaliaStarrSpeakerAutism.com
310-281-1108
800-939-1046
http://amaliastarr.autisable.com
http://twitter.com/autismmomexpert
P.O. Box 1357
Sierra Madre, CA 91025
www.AmaliaStarrSpeakerAutism.com
310-281-1108
800-939-1046
http://amaliastarr.autisable.com
http://twitter.com/autismmomexpert
Watch for a follow up interview with the author, Amalia Star.
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