Gamer New Year's resolutions to live by for 2009

I'm still waiting for Wii Party Mix...not really.

As 2008 reaches its conclusion, every person has been gearing up their New Year's Day resolutions.  Most of them will fall flat on their promises early in the year, but not yours truly.  2009 will see the beginning of a gaming revolution.  Here are some of the resolutions we ALL need to go by.  Follow me minions!  These are the guidelines in kicking off gamer anarchy!

Quit console hatin' without reason

How many times do you go to any site and see all these people talking smack about how much this console sucks?  If you don't like a certain system, that's all good and everything.  But PLAY the friggin thing first!  "PS3 has no good games."  "Nintendo has weak graphics."  "Xbox 360 is overrated."  Oh really?  What did you play?  "Well, I never played it but this guy told me it sucks..."  If you just go by others' opinions without trying to find out for yourself, you will miss out on many good times to be had.  Would you want to learn how to drive from someone who never has?

Try it out

"Don't knock it 'til you try it."  This quote is relevant for my fellow gamers.  Many people will take a look at a game and immediately assume it is terrible.  Did you read what I mentioned above?  Rent the games you are unsure of.  If you have a friend with a different system you have never played, go co-op it up!  I remember when Halo first came out and I talked so much crap about the game before I even touched it.  I finally got in on those lovely LAN parties and can you guess what happened?  I was addicted.  Ever since those days, I've vowed to play the game before I protest against it.  I'm still shocked about all the backlash against Soul Calibur 4.

You are NOT as hardcore of a gamer as you think

Can you name every person who has help create your favorite game by memory?  Have you played every single video game ever made? Is you body completely covered in game-referencing tattoos?  Are your children named Sockboy, Shigeru Miyamoto, or New Age Retro Hippie?  Do you even know each name I just referred to without looking it up?  Here's my point.  No matter how much of a 'Hardcore Gamer' you've claimed to be, there is someone out there who is that much more into it.  If you keep yakking about how much more of gamer you are than anyone else, you better be ready to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Remember Kim or this poor guy?   That's hardcore... Maybe a bit too much.

And what's wrong with casual gaming anyway?

Last time I checked, isn't that were we all started at?  I was a casual gamer.  I still consider myself a casual gamer with a lot of gaming knowledge and experience, so don't assume my skills are weak.  No one can beat me one on one on any Super Smash Bros. game!  Most casual gamers are working or going to school or raising a family.  Quit spending so much time ragging on gamers trying to improve their skills.  Every time I go online, some (insert bad word) is calling everyone and their momma's a NOOB.  There is no bigger NOOB than the NOOB that abuses the use of NOOB.  And what NOOB made up the word?

Could someone PLEASE make a decent video game based movie?!

We have every right to have this fear.  Most people will say that Mortal Kombat  was the closest thing to a good game movie.  The amount of sub par to awful movies is as much as Brangelina's kids. Terrible movies such as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Double Dragon, Super Mario Bros, Wing Commander, Street Fighter, Postal, Bloodrayne, and basically anything from Uwe Boll have stained the good name of video games in the movie industry.  With how well comic book movies have done this year, video game movies need some of that box office magic to start the long climb up to glory.  We can only hope that future movies like Gears of War, Bioshock, or Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li will restore some dignity and hope into all of us that endured the Dark Age.

Support the game industry

As much as I hated on every person who claimed to game all their lives when they know damn well that they just started in '08, I was happy that the game industry has been going strong.  I'm not an executive at EA...*Cough* Buy Madden 2010  *Cough*... Or any kind of corporate yuppie.  I do love hearing stories about new gamers and how much fun they have been having.  I applaud Nintendo for building that bridge with the Wii!  Go out there and buy some game consoles!  It is one of the best investments you can make.  Support our Big 3 (Nintendo, Xbox, and Playstation, respectively).  The last thing I would want is for just only one company to be around.  Speaking of a monopoly, that is possible...

Stop buying all those companies, EA!

I know our country is based on capitalism, it is all about those dead presidents.  But do you have to buy every single game developer who is seen as competition?  Isn't a monopoly illegal?  I was terrified when I heard that Electronic Arts was planning on buying out Take-Two Interactive back in February this year.  Can you imagine what that would have done?  They would've owned Rockstar.  Along with the developer comes series such as Grand Theft Auto, Midnight Club, and Manhunt.  There would only be one true company to make sports games because 2K Sports would be under the EA sports brand.  2K Games also have Bioshock, Sid Meier's series, and Champions Online. One good thing that would have come out of it would have been the ACTUAL release of Duke Nukem Forever.  2K Games had agreed to publish DNF and EA don't play when it comes to their money. 

Fun Fact:  EA made one of their last big purchases by acquiring VG Holding Corp. last year on my birthday, October 11, 2007.  Why so significant, you ask?  VG owns Bioware and Pandemic Studios.  They own games such as Jade Empire, Star Wars:KOTOR, Mass Effect, Destroy All Humans!, and Mercenaries.

Don't believe the Nukem Hype

We can only imagine what it is like to be 3D Realms.  The developers of Duke Nukem Forever went from giving us different release dates for over a decade to simply stating "When it's done."  I wish I can say that to anyone who ever asks me a question.  When is that article coming?  When are we leaving the comic book store?  When are you gonna stop playing Xbox to feed us?  Since it's announcement on April back in 1997, we have been promised a game that probably is not even being made.  DNF is never coming out at this point!  Go see the pictures and get your hopes up.  Until the game is in my console, I will continue to assume those pictures are some global scam to hold our economy in its low point.  With all that time in development, Duke Nukem Forever better be the greatest game in history.

Rock Band 2 vs Guitar Hero:WT is like Chocolate vs Vanilla

After taking some time to play both games with my boy, Trey-Diesel, I still see Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero: World Tour overall on the same level.  Reading about debates over which is better is like asking someone if the number 4 sounds cooler than 5.  Both games are tons of fun.  RB 2 boosts a serious library of music including the first Rock Band and the expansion packs.  GH:WT lets you share user-created content for unlimited variety of music.  There are songs on each game that I can't stand to listen to.  But when I'm strumming away on Assassin by Muse or  Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi, I get the head rocking and lip-syncing like I have been a fan for years.  RB2 and GH:WT share many of the same songs, but what do you expect?  It's not like all of the developers from both sides hold a draft lottery for who gets what songs.  One of the biggest differences I see is at the drums.  Guitar Hero: World Tour have the 3 drum pads with two cymbals.  Rock Band 2 has the 4 drum pads, but you can add on the 2 cymbals for a little difference in gameplay. All and all, it comes down to whatever floats your boat.  Just save yourself the trouble and buy both.

Could someone PLEASE make a decent video game based movie?!?!?

 Yeah, I already said it but SERIOUSLY!  Don't mess this up.

Follow these resolutions and the revolution shall begin.  My minions shall be ready because 2009 is the year of change.  Enjoy yourselves and have a Happy New Years.