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Dear Babs: June 28, 2009
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Dear Babs,
Now that the "King of Pop" is dead, who can we idolize?
Goochland Groupie
Dear Gooch,
Never fear, Obama is here. While we don't know much about his musical talent, we do know he makes audiences swoon and faint. The real question is whether he can get up to speed in time to take on that world tour that Jacko was rehearsing for so feverishly, but is no longer going to be able to complete.
Luckily, Michelle's wardrobe is similar to the King of Pop's, and with a little tailoring here and there, will look just fabulous on the Messiah. It may take a strict diet of "Jesus Juice" to give him that same gaunt look, but his smoking habit should help him get the right crevices in his face without any major plastic surgery.
So sit back, and enjoy the very public fireworks as the DNC fights with the Jackson clan over the tour's bonanza of money, not to mention world rights to the now famous 911 call. Along with the Beatles collection, it should be enough to keep either side in the limelight for some years to come.
Babs
Dear Babs,
With Obama slated to take over the Michael Jackson world tour, who will run the White House? I shudder to think what might happen if Biden steps up to the plate. I can just see the headline - "Empty Suit Wears Empty Suit". We're doomed!
Pessimist in Powhatan
Dear Pest,
Anyone can fill a suit that was empty to begin with. But don't worry about Biden. He's still busy filming his reality TV show, "Pardon My Caboose", where two contestants on the Delaware to DC Amtrak run compete to guess how far the train will go before he lets out another gaffe.
In fact, this coming week is "Celebrity Pardon My Caboose", where other famous celebs known for their own loose lips will play for audience members. I think Mel Gibson and Don Imus are booked for Wednesday's edition.
Sit tight, and enjoy the fun. The country’s going to hell in a hand basket anyway!
Babs
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