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Twenty years as an open adoption counselor: how OA has changed
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Patricia Cimino, MS, LPC, was an early adopter (pardon the pun) of the notion of open adoption, not as part of the adoption triad but as an adoption counselor. She has worked in the field of adoption for more than 23 years, currently at Lutheran Family Services of Colorado as the Director of the Pregnancy Counseling, Parenting, and Adoption program.
She has worked with clients who are exploring their options in both placing and parenting their child, adoptive families, education, and curriculum development. She is also a trainer for the federally funded Infant Adoption Training Initiative.
Patricia: I started at Lutheran Family Services of Colorado (LFSCO) in 1986 and worked at other agencies over the years, and have now returned to LFSCO. At that time, we practiced "semi open" adoption, which was pretty progressive! We started consulting with Kathleen Silber (author of Dear Birthmother) and Jim Gritter (author of Adoption Without Fear) in 1988 and took the plunge into open adoption shortly after. LFSCO was the first agency to introduce OA in Colorado. I was excited about it, and convinced that it made the most sense, but I also had some of the same fears that our clients initially have. Would the relationships between birth families and adoptive families develop positively? Could parties be responsible for their relationships? I guess I didn't yet fully trust our clients!
How has open adoption changed in the years you've been involved with it?
The philosophy of open adoption has not changed. Our practice of OA has changed to the extent that we adoption counselors have become less controlling. Our confidence in the process and its benefits to all parties are more evident. Our faith in and our expectations of our clients has grown. We do not introduce "contracts," or routinely supervise or mediate meetings between the birth and adoptive parents. After the initial meeting, or match meeting, we encourage clients to develop their relationship outside of the adoption agency. We are always available for support to all parties, and we find that education and preparation for OA is key to establishing a successful relationship/adoption experience.
Some have said that open adoption was pushed primarily to appeal to expectant parents, and to increase the number of babies available. How would you respond to this?
Open adoption is more appealing to most expectant parents! However, the push for OA stems from the belief that it is most beneficial to the adoptee -- to know their birth and adoption story; to have access to answers to their questions; to not only be told about, but to experience, the love and concern of their families. OA requires a shared commitment between both sets of parents that is in the best interests of their child.
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