Guild101: How not to apply to a guild

June 24, 1:33 PMDetroit MMORPG ExaminerDaniel Tack

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It must almost be 7 PM, he looks like he's ready to go.

Applying for a guild is a lot like applying for a job – it's a big first impression and lets the people you'll be working with know some important things about you. While its not quite as important as what you'll be doing for your life's work, it is a community you'll be spending a bit of your time with. As such, its a good idea to put your best gamer foot forward.

The following is a real application, to a real guild. The name has been changed to protect the innocent and the profanity has been edited or removed but the basic content remains the same. Gaze upon in horror this abortion of an application, and stare in wonder at this perfect example of how not to get into a guild. The document was also in all-caps, which has been edited to regular size to shield your eyes.

1) Your age: I'm 15 as you probably know

2) Character Name / Class / Intended Spec: ***** I’m a rogue and I’m pro as combat or mutilate

3) Armory Link: Removed for his own protection

4) Why do you want to join <Guild Name>?: I want to have a guild tag of one of the best guilds on the server despite the server being **** and the guild not being top 1k

5) What guilds have you previously been in? Why did you leave?: <Old guild name> is really bad

6) Raid times are Monday - Thursday, 7:00 pm EST until 11:30 pm EST. Does anything prevent you from raiding during this time frame?: no i don’t have much of a life during those 4 days so it’s k

7) Do you have Ventrilo? Do you own a microphone?: yes i do and yes i do

8) Are you willing to respec if needed to fit the needs of the raid?:

I’m a rogue I’m ******* one dimensional.

9) What Wrath of the Lich King raid experience do you have? (Naxx, Malygos, etc.): little bit of Ulduar and everything else but 3d Sarth.

10) What pre-Wrath raid experience do you have (MC, BWL, AQ, Naxx-40, SSC, TK, BT, Sunwell, and so on)?:

i did Ony and ZG then BC came and i did Kara and ZA

11) Do you have any real-life friends in the guild?:

no I’m a basement dwelling pasty faced kid and i don’t know people on the internet

Now, it goes without saying, one should not treat a guild application like they were applying for any sort of real job, but it is an exceedingly easy decision for whoever looks at this to dispose of it in the nearest waste receptacle along with a chili lunch and flush it away.

If by some miracle or momentary lapse of sanity by a recruitment team or officer let this man in, he would already be starting out his guild career at a disadvantage due to the shoddy nature of his opening performance – Players begin to evaluate him at the application level long before they have to communicate with him in vent, in game, or get a chance to look over his numbers on WWS.

So don't do what this man did – spend more than thirty seconds on your application and it will go a long way.