Gen Y Gives Thanks: An independent person can exhibit a little dependence

November 5, 10:29 AMGeneration Y ExaminerSharalyn Hartwell

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Some Gen Y'ers don't like relying on other people
and have to learn that it is okay to have help.
(Photo: Photoxpress.com)

Labeled as the “Boomerang Generation” because so many move back home after college, Millenials have a reputation for leaning on other people, their parents specifically, to bail them out when times are tough. Does this mean all members of Generation Y are dependent creatures who can’t do things on their own and don’t appreciate that help when it is given them?

It certainly doesn’t.

Elisa Doucette, 29, of Portland, Maine, reflects how as a child you have to depend on other people but she was enthralled with the idea of independence and even took it to the extreme.

“For me, independence was like a shiny present someone bestowed on me at the age of 19 and I went out of my way to build walls and rely on no one but myself. Like a badge of honor, I made sure my life was my own and the control was all mine. Control became an obsession of mine, a card I knew I always had to play. When control was lost, I did everything in my power to regain it.”

Sound like the stereotypical entitled and clingy Gen Y’er? Not exactly. Many Gen Y’ers, people actually, regardless of age, are like Doucette and possess almost a fear of letting others help them. But over the course of the past year, Doucette has changed her view and learned a valuable lesson in permitting others to help. It doesn’t mean she is giving up, it doesn’t mean she is losing control, it doesn’t mean she is becoming a stereotype. It means she’s learning a life lesson and bettering herself as a result.

“This year I began making some big changes. After ten years of never going on more than a third date with anyone I began actively putting myself out there again. I started my blog and shared some things about myself that I had been scared to share with even my closest friends. I've made some amazing connections with people through my blog and though they sometimes hurt me because I've let them get close, I have come to depend on many of them. I’ve began planning the reality of owning my own business and my schedule is crazy. I live with my younger sister, my best friend. In general she takes care of most everything around the house because I’m so busy. She told me, ‘When you said you are planning on opening your business I knew that I’d have to do this stuff so you can follow your dream. You know how proud I am of you, right?’ Through all the changes, and my little sister, I re-learned an important lesson from my youth: sometimes you get the most out of life by depending on others just as much as you do yourself. This year I am most grateful for that.”

Regardless of generational membership, a reevaluation of our independence versus dependence is necessary to strike that perfect balance between depending on others and doing it all on your own. And, like Doucette, you may be pleasantly surprised (not to mention grateful) at what you discover.

Doucette is a freelance writer, more of her musing and life lessons can be found on her blog, Ophelia’s Webb. 

For more on “Gen Y Gives Thanks”: Click here to read how the series got started and here to read all “Gen Y Gives Thanks” related articles. Join the #GenYGivesThanks conversation on Twitter and check out what the participants in the series are tweeting about with my GenYGivesThanks Twitter list.