Helping children deal with a seriously sick parent

October 31, 3:21 PMNewark Early Childhood Education ExaminerSyreeta Springer

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When illness strikes.

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One of the worst things for a young child to experience is a sick parent. It is hard for them to conceptualize why their mom or dad who used to take them places and play with them is now not able to. There is so much out there that children have to deal with these days. Finding a way for them to cope is paramount.

Pretty soon they will be out in the world on their own and they will need to have great coping skills in order to deal with life’s many challenges. The movie that comes to mind, which illustrates this concept, is Stepmom with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. In that movie, not only were the children dealing with the divorce of their parents but also the acquisition of a stepmother and later with their mother having cancer. Talk about a triple whammy. The myriad of feelings the children were going through could only be described as heartwrenching. So what do you do if your child has to deal with you or your spouse being seriously sick?

• Join a support group. The first thing that needs to be done is for you to get help in dealing with it.  If you can't deal with it, how can you help your children deal with it?
• Find resources that would best fit the needs of you, your child and your family.
• Have your child take art therapy. It is a wonderful form of expression that they can use to deal with difficult emotions. Counseling can also help your child deal with difficult situations.
• Play therapy is also a wonderful way for really young children to come to grips with major changes in their lives. Play therapy involves using puppets, dolls, dollhouse, and drawings to get children to talk. It is conducted by a certified therapist and can be done in a hospital setting or cozier, inviting environment such as a house.
• Read books that addresses such life changes. There are books geared for young children, which address death, illness, moving, loss of a job, etc.
• Talk to your child. Be simple and honest. Talking about it helps them gain understanding about the situation and may alleviate their internalization that they are to blame.

Remember, getting professional help doesn't mean you are weak, it just means you need help dealing with a very difficult situation.