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When you can't stay positive, why not try being negative?

Sometimes there are days when nothing goes right. The bills are piling up and you barely have enough on your next check. You take criticism too personally. You are in a sour mood and can't think straight. The door doesn't even open the right way and you stub your toe. It's that kind of a day.

 

There are many people and books that would suggest ways to stay positive during times like this. Some suggest carrying little messages with you that are supposed to refocus your thoughts. Some suggest stones like worry stones to dispense of your worries. Some suggest the practice of gratitude even on your hardest days, stating that there are things you can still be thankful for. Sometimes even when you've done all those things, they do not help.

 

There is a solution that is not often advised because it is not politically correct metaphysically. The solution to how to stay positive on your worst day ever? You don't. Become negative.

 

Becoming negative is different from becoming bad or evil, but as a society, most of us are socially trained to avoid airing out our emotions except in particular circumstances. In the event of someone's death or injury, we are expected to grieve. In protests, we are expected to be passionate and even angry. On a bad day that would have been ordinary otherwise, being negative is not welcome. You may hear “I don't want to deal with your drama.” Although you may understand why they say it (and you may have said it yourself to someone else) it just makes your day even worse when you get shut out.

 

The key to being negative in a way that helps you is getting past all the social niceties and admitting how you feel truthfully. When you can no longer pretend to feel good, then stop pretending. Feel bad. Feel sad, depressed, angry, uncomfortable or however you feel that is considered “negative.” People feel emotions for a reason and people usually attempting to out-think their feelings with reason won't necessarily feel better; in fact, they usually feel tired. So much energy was put into avoiding feelings that it becomes taxing and both the mind and body become exhausted.

 

Many of us will put the energy to avoid voicing our own negative feelings because we:

 

In other words, we avoid being negative because we put the consideration of others before our own well-being. If being negative means handling and taking care of the self in order to get well rather than worry about the reaction of others, it's even more imperative that we become negative.

 

However... Being negative does not give us license to throw out negative energy around like caustic acid at others. Like any waste, it is important once we acknowledge our negativity, that we dispose of it responsibly.

 

If you decide to approach someone to vent about your day, it's very important to get permission from the listener. If they ask, “What's wrong?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” that signifies permission. If you are calling someone to get something off your chest (and the person you are calling is not the source of your bad day), always ask if they have time to listen. If you decide to vent your negativity in extensive written form on a public forum in a blog, it would be responsible to cut it behind a cut or a link so that people who have the time and energy to read it will do so. Otherwise, keep such posts short enough that people would be able to respond to it without being overwhelmed. Remember that there will be people who will not be able to take your vent at that time so do your best to find another outlet rather than pressuring someone to listen. Just launching into an explosion without warning will make even the most sympathetic ear defensive and even deaf to what you have to say.

 

Everyone has tough days and everyone cannot be happy all the time. There are some days that feel like they are the worst days of your entire life. Conventional wisdom says that things will be better in the future. However, if it's not the future yet and you still feel bad, screw conventional wisdom.

 

Be “negative,” acknowledge what makes you feel bad so that you can begin to feel better. The most important part of that statement is not “be negative.” It's “feel better.”