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Is Chatting Cheating?
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According to Glamour magazine 80% of their readers agree that it is cheating if a person is flirting through Facebook. With new technology such as chat rooms, IMs, social networking sites, various e-mail accounts, text messages, etc. it is so easy to feel connected to others, sometimes at the expense of our relationships at home. Couples now, more than ever, are breaking up over information that new technology has brought into the situation.
Here are some clues to watch out for if you suspect your significant other is cyber-cheating:
- Multiple e-mail accounts and passwords that they do not share with you.
- She or he will close out windows or shut the screen off when you walk by or into the room.
- More than one cell phone.
- If they are up late at night "working" on the computer.
- If there is a marked increase or decrease in their desire to be intimate with you.
If you are suspecting that there is Internet Infidelity and you feel that you can have an honest and open conversation about your concerns, then bring them to the table and see how they respond to your concerns. Express how these behaviors have led to your suspicions and work with your partner to set some better boundaries around technology use in your relationship. However, if they deny these accusations and continue with their suspicious behaviors then check in with yourself about how you would like to next proceed.
While the behavior of infidelity is nothing new, the availability for social connecting has made indiscretions easier to come by and has created new ways of getting caught in a lie. Like the old lipstick on the collar scenario the question to contemplate is what to do with the evidence? Technology certainly does leave a trail, and you don't need to be CSI expert to figure out how to investigate this sort of incident. But breaching a person's password to access their private information can be considered a criminal offense in and of itself.
Many factors come into play when dealing with matters of the heart and technology. Here are some questions to ask yourself before making your own decision.
- How long have you been in a relationship with this person?
- Are there other trust issues that caused you to question their fidelity in the first place?
- How do you plan on confronting them with the evidence?
- Are you prepared to lose this relationship based on these breaches of trust?
- Do you want to resolve these issues with your partner?
So, for now, I leave the ethics to you. If you were in a situation where your suspicions were confirmed by a piece of evidence you sought out online or in a cell phone, what would you do? Do you have a story of Internet Infidelity that you would like to share? Comment below!
If you and a loved one are struggling with trust issues due to technology and would like help sorting them out, please contact me at havi@health-e-connections.com.
Watch the video that inspired this article: http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&vid=d855958c-d97d-42df-be99-5794de3ca25c
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