Daily dose of keeping your relationship hot and sexy tip # 8

July 5, 3:09 PMColorado Springs Sex and Relationships ExaminerJami Wright

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Here is your daily tip --  continuing to countdown to number one on keeping your relatonship Hot and Sexy

There are many ways to help improve your relationship. This daily countdown covers great ways to make your relationship sexy and hot. Two days ago you were given ideas on how to be flirty and get foreplay outside of the bedroom. Yesterday you were given the suggestion to make time for a date and places to go. Make sure you check both of these articles out, they archalked full of great ideas from yours truly and our reader. Today is tip number 8.

Learn to disagree, not fight angry

Nothing kills the spice in a relationship faster than fighting angry. All relationships go through disagreements. The problem most relationships have is that they get angry during the fight, mean and hurtful things are said, forgiveness is usually given but the words are not forgotten and many times brought up later in future angry fights. 

The sayin that make up sex is better than regular sex is partially true.  But wouldn’t you rather disagree respectfully and then make up in the bedroom without having your feelings or self esteem damaged? Next time you fight STOP and try these steps….

• Listen to what your partner is really saying.
• It is hard, but don’t get defensive at the words.
• Repeat what your partner is saying back, ‘so what you are saying is that you don’t like it when I…’
• Battle anger with logic, your partner will catch on.

If your partner doesn’t catch on you can always take some cool off time. Tell him/her you are going to go take a coffee break so you two can think about the situation. When you come back ask if you are ready to discuss the situation. Sometimes the time apart will have made the fight seem frivolous and you will make up then. Other times the disagreement will have lost its fire and you will be able to discuss it and come to some kind of agreement, even if it is to agree to disagree.

Avoid being passive aggressive in this activity. Many times people want to avoid conflict and do so by avoiding the fight and later taking out the feelings on their partner in some other form of revenge. This gets nothing solved and has the same impact as saying hurtful things to each other because your partner is hurt but doesn’t know why you hurt them. Look for the article on ways to overcome passive aggression in relationships that will be out next week.

Anger in a relationship is unhealthy; sometimes anger can lead to much worse things than simple arguments and hurt feelings. Sometimes it can lead to abuse. Controlling anger in relationships not only helps to keep the spice in your relationship but also helps to avoid the cycle of abuse.

Note from author: Your spicy assignment is to Try the above activity next time you and your partner have an argument and check out this article on ways to control anger in relationships along with tip ten and nine. Tomorrow I will publish tip number 7 on keeping your relationship sexy and hot. If you enjoyed this tip or any other article from my home page please make sure you submit to my spam free email. The link is located below or at top of the page by my bio.

Please feel free to comment below on this article or if you have comments, questions, concerns, or a story you would like to share please feel free to email me.

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As always thank you for reading and participating in my column. Have a beautiful day.