Why geeks are awesome lovers

October 11, 10:58 PMSeattle Geek ExaminerDJ Taylor

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There are a couple of lists out there (well, actually, only one that I know of, but it keeps getting passed around) which purport to give you the real reasons geeks make better lovers.

I'll be honest, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with this list. There's nothing factually incorrect about it, and the points raised are fairly decent. But it's that word, better, which bugs me. Better is relative. It's in the eye (or hand, or penis, or vagina) of the beholder. But I can tell you this; geeks do make awesome lovers.

I'll get to the reasons why in a moment. Let me first establish my credibility. I'm a techno geek. I'm married to a band geek. She's incredibly sexy, and after two years of marriage, nine months of which was spent in pregnancy, a further nine months (to date) of which has been spent parenting, I will tell you this; our love life is hot. I'm talking porno, setting-off-the-smoke detector hot.

So I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that geeks make awesome lovers. Here are the top five reasons why:

1. Geeks are uninhibited. C'mon, we're the ones who spent high school being ridiculed for whatever geeky interest we obsessed about. Computers, band, chess, role-playing/ video games; we caught crap for all of it. But did we care? Puh-lease. Those losers had no idea what they were missing out on. Pass the 20-sided die.

Make no mistake, we are just as uninhibited in our relationships. We'll gladly tell you what we're thinking about (just be prepared to hear our musings on who would win in a fight; Neo or the Terminator). Want to try a kinky position/place/time? So long as it's not in the middle of Star Trek (especially an episode starring Wil Wheaton...that dude is awesome), we're all for it.

The truth is, we love trying new things. It's part of the reason we're geeks in the first place.

2. Geeks are passionate. This is closely related to number one. The reason we tuned out all that nonsense in high school is that we care about things. Whether it's D&D, computers, games, music, or a bit of everything, we are so into it. Big time.

But the thing is, we're not limited to being passionate about our geekery. You give us a chance, and we'll add you to that list of things about which we are completely into.

3. Geeks are smart. That's not intended to be exclusive...plenty of non-geeks are smart too. But many of us became geeks because we were smart, and needed to figure out something to engage this strange and unique brain we had. That doesn't mean our knowledge is limited merely to geeky things (in fact, many of us are quite conversant in a number of non-geeky things, from art, to movies, to music). Imagine having a real conversation with someone who's genuinely interested in what you have to say.

4. Geeks are (generally) happy/secure. We find joy in simple things, and are comfortable with who we are. Who needs to go out clubbing 5 nights a week, when I could be at home recompiling my kernel, or playing a rousing round of (insert MMO here) with my online buddies? Or even better, when I could be at home giving you a foot/back/head rub?

Plus, we don't tend to be hyper-emotional. We're generally pretty even. This sometimes belies our deep passion (see number two), but I assure you, it doesn't detract from it. It just means we're less likely to be insanely possessive/jealous/controlling/depressed. You want to go out with your friends instead of me? Have a great time babe, I'll be playing Guitar Hero with the guys.

5. Geeks know how to make love. Look, we appreciate sexuality. We get it on multiple levels. And I have yet to meet a geek who is not completely into making his/her partner happy, every-single-time. Some of my geek-mates are obsessed with pleasing their partner. And, whether it's rockin' your world with some hardcore breakin-the-bedframe shaggin', a gentle rollick by the fireplace, or anything in between, it's a safe bet that your geek girl/boy will be totally up for it.

So there you have it. My purely subjective, insanely kickass list of why geeks make awesome lovers. Hope you enjoyed it. Now, If you'll excuse me, I've got some awesome geek-lovin' to get to.