Spotting geeks in the wild

October 10, 1:09 PMSeattle Geek ExaminerDJ Taylor

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Spotting a geek in the wild used to be a simple process of elimination. Pocket Protector? Check. White, button-up shirt with a horribly out-of-fashion tie? Double check. Unflattering glasses? Yep, you had a geek on your hands.

But no more.

No, these days you need a much keener eye to spot us. Very few of us advertise our geekiness like the fellow to the right (and he isn't really a true geek; a true geek would never use an E-Machine). So consider this your Fromer's Guide to Geekery.

First, the clothing. This may surprise you, but many of us have begun to adapt modern standards of style in our manner of dress. In fact, far from the days of yore, which invariably found us wearing khaki pants and collared shirts, these days you just might find us wearing very hip skinny jeans and a t-shirt with a clever phrase on it.

The clever phrase is where you must pay attention. If you see someone wearing a t-shirt with a clever phrase, which makes no sense to you, remember to Google it when you get home. You may have spotted a geek.

For example, a favorite shirt of mine to wear says "There's no place like 127.0.0.1", which is the IP address for a loopback routine on your localhost...in other words, to your computer, that IP address is 'home'.

Second, the gadgetry. This is a dicey area in which to try and identify geeks in these modern times. Once upon a time, it was the realm of the geek to have the latest and greatest gizmo, whatsit, or doohickey. But no more. These days, even the non-geeks among us have developed a penchant for purchasing these same electronic gadgets.

So, how do you tell us apart? There are a couple of ways.

1. Does the person wait in line, sometimes for hours/days/months for the latest gizmo? They're either a geek, or members of an environmental organization.

2. Does the person take the side of one particular company over another, even though they have personal financial stake in either company (aka a 'fanboy)? They're not a geek. Just a fanboy.

3. Does the person pick one gadget over another, and explain why they made that choice, based on the capabilities of the gadget (e.g. choosing the IPhone over the G1 because the IPhone can natively connect with MS Exchange)? Definitely a geek.

Which brings us to the third, and final method for identifying a geek in the wild; the conversation.

Geeks tend to be elusive, and often solitary creatures (not all of us, but many of us are). When we do venture out, it's often in packs of other geeks, both for purposes of safety, and to propagate our knowledge amongst our fellow-kind.

So, if you spot a suspected geek amidst a group of other suspected geeks, wander over to their group and eavesdrop on their conversation. If you hear the words "Linux" (pronounced variously as" lin-ucks", "leen-ucks", or "line-ucks"), SSH, MySQL (pronounced as "my sequel"), or PHP. then congratulate yourself with a pint; you've spotted a pack of geeks in the wild.