Getting stood up

July 27, 11:38 AMPick Up ExaminerTiffany Yvonne Cox

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Pick Up Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

 That is never a good feeling. Here are the sad, embarrassing details...

J and I planned to go on a cabin trip with some friends this past weekend in Virginia.  The plans were extremely shifty and flaky, as usual.  I talk about J in The Great Date and Playing Hard to Get.  Of course, I overlooked the flakes and went with my emotions, after having a lovely evening together in Atlanta and wanting to do it again.

The cabin trip was to last from Friday through Sunday morning.  I told J I was going to go to VA on Thursday in order to visit WL#1.  She lives in Northern VA, 3hrs from my parents home in NJ and 4 hours from our cabin.  A perfect halfway point and addition to my weekend adventure.  I arrived at WL#1's home and we started evaluating J’s flaky actions.  Here is what I had been dealing with:

1. J took forever to book a cabin and then did it the night before I left.

2. J sent text messages not pertaining to the cabin, but instead emotional commentary.

3. J only called late at night.

4. J did a whole lot of talk and not enough action.

As I got into bed anxious for the following day, I decided that this cabin trip would be the last thing I did with J for good, because he was way too complicated for me.  I believe that any bond you have with a person should be a give and take and not leave you wondering constantly about the status of the relationship.

I woke up at 7am and my sixth sense was punching me in the stomach.  After stewing on all the possibilities for a few hours, I finally got up to take a shower and hopefully wash away my worries. When I got out of the shower, I looked at my phone and saw that I had a series of text messages from J.  The accumulated messages stated that he was very sorry because he had to go to Tennessee for a last minute job interview for the position of Associate Dean of a University.  He could not reschedule with them and felt bad about canceling our trip.  He did not want to hear the disappointment in my voice so hence the text messages and he would call me right before the interview which was to be at 2pm.

What the "F"!

Ladies and gentleman, I felt like I had been left at the alter. 3 hours and $50 dollars worth of gas and tolls had been wasted on this bastard.  I texted back three words.

Lose My Number

I sat on WL#1's bed for 30minutes thinking about my next move.  I beat myself up for falling so easily into the hands of a player and thought about how I was going to tell my readers.  WL#1 was a saint.  We sat and talked for another hour so I would be calm enough to drive 3 hours back to NJ.  The weather mirrored my mood perfectly.  Water hit my windshield aggressively and several cars lined the highway with tow trucks behind them.  Then there was me, tightly gripping the steering wheel and replaying the week events and conversations with J over and over in my head.

When I got home, I talked to my mother and she told me to send J an email so he knew he could not do that to other friends in the future.

I have a problem with always trying to be nice to people.  Well this time I let that go and let him have it with my email.  I still don't feel good.  I am hurt, but of course I learned plenty from the situation.

1. Do not put your guard down too quickly, even if the target seems to be a good person.

2. If the signs are there, do not take them for granted.  Just because the person says the right things, that does not mean they will follow them up with action.   Examples of this are in the list above with all the things J did and did not do while planning this trip.

3. Allow the opposite sex you are interested in plan the entire date or event to show that they are actually in for good.  Once again, actions speak louder than words.  Targets must show full commitment within a situation, because you already know you are committed, but you don’t always know about them.

4. It’s events like these that make us not trust the opposite sex. So do not allow yourself to get into a situation where you end up hating an entire gender because of one person's stupid and awful actions.

I don't believe J’s Tennessee crap for an instant or anything else he told me in the course of the weeks that we were in contact.  Luckily, I still have a bit of faith in the male race.  So I am on the prowl once more.  Stay on the lookout.