Playing hard to get

July 10, 12:41 PMPick Up ExaminerTiffany Yvonne Cox

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I think I have had one of Oprah's "aha moments". Here is what happened.

While driving back from Atlanta, I got a phone call from Mr. DJ.  I told him we were still on our way back to NJ.  He should have already known, considering that I gave him this same information Friday as I was heading to Atlanta.

Mr. DJ said he was hoping to see me tonight.  OK, that is flattering but at the same time eager beaverish.

Then he asked me to call when I got home.  I said alright, and told him that we would be back between 11pm and 12pm. I got a text at 11:18pm checking to see if I had gotten home yet, which I had not.  I called at 11:33pm, obviously tired, and told him I was headed to bed.  The next morning I got a text at 9:30am asking if I was up yet.

*Sigh*

I texted him at 11am saying that I was running errands with my mom and using the day to recuperate from the weekend, so I would call him later in the day.  He responded back, "Cool. Have a nice day."  I thought, great, time for me to chill and not feel pressured.

9:20pm rolls around pretty quickly and I get a phone call from Mr. DJ.  I did say I would call later in the day, and it was nearly the end of the day, but come on!  Can you let me do it in my time.

And this is when I have my epiphany.

In our last episode I talked about J., the guy I actually liked.  Well, I think I may have done the same sort of "bug-a-boo" thing to him.  We hung out one night and said that we get together again.  I thought we were on the same page with how much we wanted to get together, because he told me to call whenever I had a moment.  So, I did.  When I did not hear from him, I would check in to see what was going on.  To me it may have seemed as if checking in after two hours was alright, but if the scenario is playing out like the one described above with Mr. DJ, I can see how that is too much.

Now at the same time, I have to say that I was getting texts talking about him thinking of me, wanting to see me, replaying moments in his head, blah blah blah.  When I responded to these comments with, plans to actually get together I would receive no response back or some excuse as to what he was doing.  Even when he told me to call once I got home, I did, twice, and have yet to hear from him.

Ok...

I also went over the text messages for the weekend.  Yes, I know I am a little sprung, but you all know you do the same thing in the privacy of your homes. So don't judge.

During my time in Atlanta I made myself too available, just like Mr. DJ.  I know Mr. DJ will drop anything in a heart beat to hang out with me. He is constantly asking when is the next time we are getting together, he would pay for everything if I let him and I could do nearly anything and he would still adore me.  If he was not so available I would possibly be a bit more interested.  A little game of hard to get never hurt anyone.  It makes the player much more intriguing and interesting.

The same goes for J.

When I was in town, if J. wanted me to wait on him, I would have waited.  If he wanted me to leave a party to see him, I would have left the party to see him.  If he wanted me to spend time with him instead of taking my morning jog, I would have done it.  I was sprung and way too available.  I should have initiated the game of hard to get.  Men need to feel the chase, otherwise they are not interested.

Now that I have recognized this, how can I reverse it?  I want to make him feel as if he has to work for me. That will put us on the same playing field and not make me a throw away.

We are in two totally different states, so in reality, this does not matter as much.  But this is an experiment and I want to turn the situation around so that it benefits me!. Isn't that partially what this is all about?  Allowing the lady to get what she wants.

So how can I use my PUA skills to have this man walk across four states for me? This is going to be difficult, but I think I am ready for a tricky challenge.  Watch out mista' you ain't seen nothing yet!