An updated Ritual in the Mission

July 9, 9:22 AMSF Coffeehouse ExaminerAnne H. Putnam

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My own personal ritual: nonfat latte + chair = aaahhhhhh

So I finally made it over to the Mission to try out Ritual Roasters, hipster heavyweight and second contender in the Battle of the Hipster Coffeehouses.

On first entering the admittedly massive space, I was afraid I wouldn't get a seat.  This would have meant a gold star deduction for Ritual.  But I spotted an open seat at the large communal laptop workers table by the door, and I swooped on it (I got some weird looks for asking if the seat was free and then making an awkwardly dorky comment along the lines of "is this where the laptop gang sits?" but at least I got a spot). 

I was worried a second time when I approached the register.  Which ritualized restrictions would be imposed on me here?  Cash only?  No nonfat milk?  Weird looks for ordering something other than the cryptically advertised 'special sweet tooth blend?'  But again I was pleasantly surprised; I got my nonfat latte and as I handed over my cash ($4 once I poured the coins into the tip jar) I noted a credit card swiper.  So far, so good, Ritual.

Just like at Blue Bottle, the first contender to enter the ring, I had to wait a while for my coffee; the barista had to grind the beans, then pull out the nonfat milk (the low-fat cheese stands alone, apparently), and then steam said milk.  I know they have to do two out of three steps at less artisan places, but it takes extra time at a place like this.  I don't argue.  I just go with it.

While I waited for my coffee, I soaked in the atmosphere.  The space is large and modern, with high ceilings and lots of natural light streaming in from Valencia Street; there are plenty of (admittedly occuppied) tables with super comfy bowed wooden chairs; the walls display whimsical, unpretentious comic-style art; and the music, while too loud and involving bagpipes, is pretty good.  It's not necessarily the kind of place to come work if you're a little sound-sensitive like myself, but judging from the number of computers surrounding me I'd say I'm in the minority.  Oh, and they do have free WiFi, which is a big bonus.

And the coffee, you ask?  Why yes, I did get it after all (it was really only five minutes; why am I so impatient?), and it was lovely: perfectly filling the cup and decorated with a lovely little latte heart just like I like it.  And the flavor was another pleasant surprise: strong, dark, and rich, with chocolatey notes and a soft bitterness (not burned, just dark).  It didn't blow me away, and I probably won't make the trip out from North Beach again, but it was definitely better than my cynical little palate expected.

And so it seems my brother is not so brainwashed, hipster threads aside.  Coffee at Ritual Roasters was a pleasant, if not mind-blowing, experience.  And although I was planning to deliberate a bit over my decision, I think I can safely declare that we have a winnnnnnnneeeerrrrrrr!   Rituaaaaaaal Roaaaasssssttttteeeeeeeeeeers!!   [Just imagine a big boxing ring and a dinging bell for me, ok?  Thanks.]