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Suffocation and sex

In light of current events surrounding the death of David Carradine, I thought it would be a good time to write about autoerotic asphyxia, the act of suffocating oneself during masturbation, usually through strangulation. This activity may or may not include other forms of self-bondage, like tying the wrists, genitals, etc. It is important to understand that in most cases, the individual who is doing this is not intending to kill himself (this occurs more frequently in men than women), but is intending to increase the intensity of the orgasm through the use of multiple sensory experiences.

 

Not much is really known about this form of erotic stimulation. The only cases that end up being examined are usually after someone has died, which is usually not the best time to attempt to interview a person about their sexual behaviors.

 

Within the BDSM (Bondage-Discipline/Dominant-submissive/Sadist-Masochist) Community, this sort of activity comes under the larger category of breath play or breath control. Breath play includes activities such as suffocating using a variety of means including but not limited to hands, breasts, sitting on the face of a partner, scarves, and other objects, choking, and strangulation. The intent is not to actually harm or kill one’s partner but to bring about a state of euphoria due to lack of oxygen to the brain and lungs. It is also possible and likely that many who engage in breath play don’t actually suffocate, choke or strangle their partners, but each participant pretends that this happens, along with other forms of role play.

 

There seems to be a majority consensus within the SM Community that breath play is inherently dangerous. Jay Wiseman, author of SM101 (a bible of sorts for the SM Community), has gone on record numerous times explaining the inherent dangers of such activities. Unlike with other forms of SM play, there are no warning signs while engaging in breath play that will allow someone to realize that something bad is about to happen. When restricting the breathing and/or throat of oneself or another, there is a fine line between things being okay, and the person being dead. In fact most deaths that are the result of this type of activity are not because the person is suffocating per se, but because the person undergoes cardiac arrest.

 

Because autoerotic asphyxia and other forms of breath play can lead to death and because there are many other social stigmas associated with BDSM activities in general, people who engage in them are less likely to talk with others about these interests. The BDSM community works together to educate one another about safety, including informing friends and partners about possible risky behaviors that could cause extreme harm. This is referred to as RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Breath play specifically, however, tends to be looked down upon even within this group of people who engage in extreme sex play. This may be leading to more injuries and deaths that might otherwise be avoided through education and social support networks. The real danger comes from engaging in any risky activity alone without any form of backup.

 

It is important to note some of the legal ramifications of engaging in this behavior specifically. Even if the breath play is consensual between partners, should a partner die during this activity, the surviving partner is likely to be arrested and tried for murder, not to mention the fact that he or she has now lost his or her partner forever.

 

So then, why do people do this? Again, there isn’t much if any data on autoerotic asphyxia or other forms of breath play. My guess is that engaging in something so risky adds to the overall thrill of the sexual act. This is not unusual at all. How many people drive dangerously fast, zigzagging through traffic, go mountain climbing or hang gliding? These are all inherently dangerous and risky behaviors that every day people engage in. It may not be to enhance their sex life, but I can assure you they’re getting off on it in some way.

 

Are there ways to engage in breath play or breath control safely? Not really. If you’re intention is to actually cut off the flow of oxygen through strangulation or suffocation of some sort, you will likely die or kill your partner at some point. If, however, you can manage to get the same or similar amount of excitement by pretending do these things, then maybe you and/or your partner will be okay. It is important to assess the risks and benefits of any situation, sexual or otherwise, and decide if the risks are worth the benefits. Personally, I don’t find a great orgasm worth the risk of death.