Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies

June 1, 11:25 AMLA Positive Sexuality ExaminerEmily Prior

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Available at Amazon.

I would love to claim that title as my own, however it belongs to a new book by Brett Kahr, PhD, a psychotherapist from England. Dr. Kahr was the guest speaker for the opening plenary at the 41st Annual AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) Conference held recently in Phoenix, AZ, which I attended.

This book is a compilation of a large-scale study entitled the British Sexual Fantasy Research Project which has managed to accumulate sexual fantasies from more than 40,000 individuals. Dr. Kahr began his research several years ago when, as a Couples Psychotherapist, he realized that not only was there very little data about sexual fantasies, but that sexual fantasies seemed to be playing a key role in uncovering the subconscious needs, wants, and desires of people. He also found that the sexual fantasies were often creative ways in which the human mind attempted to deal with, or completely mask, past trauma and other difficulties.

In order to get a better understanding of the role of sexual fantasy within the human psyche, Dr. Kahr turned to research. Other than the old standards of Freud and Kinsey, very little was available. He decided to try a pilot study (a small sample study of people that allows a researcher to determine whether a larger study is warranted and possible) of ten individuals randomly chosen with the help of a survey company in the United Kingdom. In his pilot study, Dr. Kahr conducted a face-to-face interview that lasted about 5 hours, as well as asking the participants to complete several paper psychological evaluations. All of his participants agreed to the full study, and Dr. Kahr’s results were amazing. Each participant divulged very personal, and sometimes secret, information about their sexual fantasies, giving Dr. Kahr the data he needed in order to launch a full-scale study.

Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? is a compilation of Dr. Kahr’s work, spanning several years and tens of thousands of participants. This is the largest and most comprehensive study of sexual fantasies ever done, and it is a fantastic read. Written for the layperson, but well-suited for academics and therapists, Dr. Kahr’s book gives great insight into the range and depth of sexual fantasies.