Pre-marital counseling creates happier couples, stronger marriage

June 22, 4:12 PMFullerton Community ExaminerKimberly Wolfe

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Fullerton Community Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

You and your spouse are the star of the show for a day. Everything is perfect.

What happens though when you come home from the honeymoon and real life sets in? Part 5 of our series dealing with wedding planning in the Fullerton, CA, area deals with the realities of marriage before it happens-with pre-marital counseling classes.

 Whether you live in Fullerton, CA, or not, premarital counseling applies to all engaged couples-whether you are getting married for the first time or remarrying. This information applies to you!

 No time for sex. Fights about money. Conflicts with parents. Fights in general.

Welcome to marriage.

 Nine couples prepared to take on the rigors of marriage June 21 as they listened to "Marriages Across the Lifecycle," a panel discussion during the "Love for Life" pre-marital counseling classes at First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton. The class, which is held for ten weeks, is for engaged couples and seriously dating couples getting married for the first time and is led by Dave Carder,MFT, the Pastor of Counseling at the church, along with couples who speak each week regarding various topics.  Cost for the class is $125 and includes books, testing materials and two one-hour sessions with Carder. Other sessions are offered, if needed, with another therapist at the church for a reduced rate. Classes are also available for couples remarrying, according to the Web site.

 Couples do not have to be a member of the church or even attend it to take part in the pre-marital counseling classes, Carder said. He also added that 52 couples have taken the classes this year alone and that not all of the couples attend the church.

 The church has been offering pre-marital counseling classes for more than 25 years, according to Carder. Current research shows that divorce rates can be reduced by as much as 30 percent, according to a study done by Brigham Young University in 2003. Couples who participated in these programs were found to resolve problems more effectively and have a higher level of marital adjustment compared to couples who did not receive pre-marital counseling, according to the study.

 Five couples were part of the panel discussion with marriages across the spectrum from seven months up to 48 years. Topics discussed included Family-Of-Origin issues, which included managing holiday schedules and dealing with problems with your parents, finances, sex and keeping the fun in your marriage. Finances was the discussion that took the most time as the class had many questions for the panel.

 "You have to give up the right to spending as much money as your want now," said Jim Key, a member of the panel, along with his wife of almost 35 years, Jeni. Key and his wife suggested keeping a good filing system for all financial matters and also using a computer program such as Quickbooks to give a quick look at your financial situation at any time.

 Jeremy Roark and his fiancee Sheena Rush enrolled in the class before their September wedding and have already seen positive results in their relationship. Roark's brother-in-law, a youth pastor, will marry the couple but said he would not do it unless they went through pre-marital counseling first. He said he could do the pre-marital counseling but preferred that they receive the counseling from an outside source and highly recommended EV Free Fullerton's program.

 "We're having less big fights since coming to these classes," Roark said, "And we are also coming to resolutions a lot faster."

 For more information on the next series of classes, visit the church's Web site marriage preparation section.